Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Earning their love

(1/2) > >>

dinny:
Hi Everyone!

I just found this site tonight and have read alot of your entries.  I could have written most of them myself.  Both of my parents are narcissists with my father being borderline sociopath.  I got my freedom 2 years ago when I confronted him regarding another lie he said about my husband.  I just couldn't take it anymore.  My father has disowned me while my mother is furious with me because I won't rescue her anymore.  My father has a violent temper and is very vindictive.  He actually tried to run my kids off the road while driving and although we can't prove it, I'm sure that he ripped my sons' rearview mirror off of his car.  I won't bore you with the many other times he has verbally abused me and my family. My husband (a saint!)  and I talked to Elenor Payson, who wrote a very helpful book, The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists, asking her how dangerous he is.  She told us VERY and to stay far, far away.
Anyway, knowing all this, I still have a very hard time giving up the need to make things better for my parents.  My daughter is getting married on Oct. 2 and I still fight with myself over whether to invite them or not, thinking that if I do, maybe they will love me.  I'm healthy enough to absolutely NOT invite them, but the misplaced hope is always there.  Will I ever get to the point of not striving to earn their love?

flower:
Welcome dinny!


--- Quote from: dinny ---

 I'm healthy enough to absolutely NOT invite them, but the misplaced hope is always there.  Will I ever get to the point of not striving to earn their love?
--- End quote ---


Maybe the thread containing the introduction of Madame Butterfly,  who broke off contact with her mother 13 years ago, will  shed some light on the growth aspect:

http://voicelessness.com/disc3/viewtopic.php?t=747&highlight=madame+butterfly

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: dinny ---He actually tried to run my kids off the road while driving and although we can't prove it, I'm sure that he ripped my sons' rearview mirror off of his car.  I won't bore you with the many other times he has verbally abused me and my family.
--- End quote ---



--- Quote ---She told us VERY and to stay far, far away.
--- End quote ---


Welcome Dinny,

based on these two things alone, I would not invite them to your daughter's wedding. It's supposed to be a happy occasion where people are respectful and supportive. It's not an occasion to cater to the needs of sick, dysfunctional people. For your daughter's sake, I urge you to stand firm.

bunny

Anonymous:
MY vote is for NOT!!
You should have genuine people celebrating a wedding, not fake people who are out to get you, trying to rob you of happiness.

Moonflower:
....

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page