Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
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Ellie:
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BlueTopaz:
--- Quote ---, Bunny, MM:
As for screening the Nparent's call tomorrow: they have caller ID so they can screen their calls but do not want anyone else to know they are calling so they use calling cards for long distance calls. It comes up as a call from somewhere here in the state. I do not answer if I don't recognize the number or name, but the kids have been conditioned to answer if call waiting comes in while they are on the phone because they have screwed up some calls for us in the past. I have 2 teens and someone is always on the phone.
--- End quote ---
Happy Birthday Ellie.
I would be for what Bunny & MM said, too. If you truly don't want to speak with her, then I just wouldn't. There's always a way.
If your kids pick up, can you get them to say that you are busy/unable to come to the phone but they will just give the message that she called with b-day wishes?
I'm just afraid that if you answer and say you are busy, it will escalate into another agrument. Once you pick up the phone and are communicating, anything could happen from there. It might be better just to have zero contact.
In spite of it all, I hope you have a nice day, and enjoy your bike goodies :-)
BT
Anonymous:
Hi Ellie,
Happy Birthday!
What is it about birthdays. My family is obsessed about them too. They treat me like dirt the rest of the year. My N brother is disgusted with me everytime I see him and its been three years or so now since I saw him. But he would always send a birthday card saying "We love you!" Talk about a fantasy.
He got to calling me on my birthday after I tried to reconcile with him about three and a half years ago.This was no bueno. After I tried to reconcile with him by letter he didn't send me a birthday card, for the first time in 20 years. I guess this was his punishment for me trying to straighten things out with him. When I called him to see why my attempt at reconciliation made him not send me a birthday card that year- first time in 20 years, he started calling me on my birthday the next year. Anyway. when I tried to find out why my attempted reconciliation resulted in no birthday card, he said my letter was "Weird." The letter of reconciliation contained a concern about keeping contact so we would have a relationship after my parents are gone. So anyway this disgusted sanctimonius brother began to make noises that I was a project to look after. Trying to reconcile turned ugly. I invited a monster into my life.
To remedy this, on my birthday I just take the phone off the hook and go to the beautiful outdoors here on the west coast. Yes siree! I'm gone! And there is no message to come home to cause the phone's off the hook the whole day. It just rings. I don't even want to hear his voice.I know though that some monsters will try to call later on but at least that whole day I have peace.
I also take the phone off the hook on Christmas. We see the inlaws before then. That day is just for our immeditate family.
flower:
>>>>edited<<<< Hope you are having fun on your bike
Anonymous:
What ever you decide Ellie, re the probable phone call, decide firmly.
If a kid accidently passes the phone, say the preplanned words and hang up. Don't wait for a response. No conversation. And remind yourself to just forget it and not let it get to you at all. No response or reaction-predecided.
If you can avoid speaking to them at all, that would be great. What ever happens, just enjoy your day and your bike and your new attitude to not let them upset you, especially on your birthday.
Also, your hubby offering you a chance for a birthday party may have been his way of wanting to give you what you gave him. Maybe next year, you can have a list of who to invite, what he could bar-b-que for you, and what beverages he could have on ice. You deserve to celebrate with the best of them Ellie! Take a rain cheque.
s
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