Hi flower,
I think this behavior may be common among Ns. If they can't control you, then you must be CRAZY!
Growing up, I was labeled 'hyperactive', 'too emotional', 'too excitable', 'too happy'. My folks must have been a lot like your mom. Mine were negative, sad, mad, angry people. So if anyone acted differently, they were CRAZY! I was and still am active, happy, fun loving, excitable, emotional. I love that part of me. I am ALIVE! They are dead to their emotions except their anger and hatred for me.
Maybe they want to be more like me and can't let themselves so there is actually jealousy going on...?
When I confronted them this summer with the REAL me, my Nmom screamed to my H to "Please COMMIT her in a mental institution - she is CRAZY and is hurting us and can hurt other people. Please have her put away!"
My translation of that outburst: "She is making us very uncomfortable, she is embarrassing us, she is very different from us, she will not let us control her, she must be put down (like a stray dog)."
I really think the Ns perspective on mental illness is "Anyone not like them, who doesn't think like them, doesn't behave like them, doesn't talk like them, etc is CRAZY and must be removed from society."
Going back to a post regarding Hitler, well there it is in a nut shell - he wanted to kill those who were not his breed. I think my Nparents would like to do the same to me - they just don't want to suffer the consequesces of their actions so they make me suffer til I wish I were dead.