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Is this their idea of love? Need feedback

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Anonymous:
Oops, that was me, Seeker.   :wink:

BlueTopaz:
Hi Flower,

I’m guessing that the watching for mental illness could probably be a whole mixture of things at the same time.  

It could be a defense mechanism, as others have said, because your mother couldn’t/can’t control you.   If she experiences what she feels is criticism, rejection of  “who she is”, or is not getting the N supply she is seeking, this could easily trigger rampant N-type thoughts and behaviors.

Part of this crazy preoccupation with your mental state could also be a major projection (nobody does it like N's), related to her own mental illness (Nism) and abnormal behavior.

It could also reflect a great inner anxiety she may have of being mentally ill herself.  Not a deep realization (I’m not sure full blown N’s would have them in the way others do), but a very primitive, surface level, fear and rejection of it.   It seems that she made mental illness a major theme in the family (maybe because of your uncle & anxiety it causes her) and placing the "stigma" of it elsewhere, both on uncle and on you :(  would take the focus off others (including herself!) thinking anything was wrong with her because of the familial link to mental illness.

I'm so sorry for that horrible experience they put you through...  As I child, I was always so terrified of institutional type places...   I can't imagine how horrible that must have been, and to have been hinted that something was wrong with you that could put you there... :(    Amounts to emotional traumatizaton/abuse to me...

Take good care,

BT

BlueTopaz:

--- Quote --- Did you know that the word "character" and its meaning is precisely about differences? That is, what makes us different is what gives us character  (not in the moral sense but in the interesting sense).
--- End quote ---


Always love to read your messages Seeker  :)    They are always full of character  :wink:

Anonymous:
flower,

It looks like a classic case of a parent projecting her own fears of mental instability onto one of her children. And her spouse went along with it. This is called a "folie a deux" which means that two people share the same irrational belief, although one of them is the instigator.

Schizophrenia requires the presence of hallucinations. If you didn't have them, I don't see how anyone could conceive of you being schizophrenic.

It was sadistic of your parents to take you to the mental hospital. I suppose your uncle was sanest one of the bunch.

bottom line: they are crazy and afraid of it. Don't take in the projection. Also don't talk to people who tell you that you are crazy.

bunny

Jenocidal:
Nmother's like to make you feel like you are going insane, it's like some sort of tactic to make you feel inferior.

Often when my Nmother and I would get into a heated battle - over some irrationality on my mother's part - she would yell at me that I was... "you're just like your aunt", or "stop acting like your aunt" - whom she deamed mentally unsound.

My mother also was overly involved with the bowel habits of both my brother and myself.

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