Tis the Season or Tis the Times

[debkor]

Ok so it's at the point where I worry about my children now when they say they are going shopping.  My older ones. Be careful ...keep your eyes in back of your head...my D and where she works...you know what to do if your held up...hand over the money, be calm, don't panic...just give them what they want. Walk in a group to cars, watch who is behind you, call me while your walking.

My 13 year old With Me and not wanting to let him go with his sister shopping who is turning 24 due to they would both Panic (and I'm not being paranoid) it is happening around here and I live in a rural area but the town is getting bigger. 

When I go to Wal-Mart I cringe when I have my younger son with me in case of an incident (is that crazy or what).  I'm always on guard and ready.  The keys are always in my hand and prep my son to not panic if something is to happen let me handle it.

Remember I was there the night of the shooting and this is not a random thing anymore.  A woman at 8:30 in the morning was raped going to her car....A kidnapping....A robbery while a woman was putting her grocery's away in the parking lot, daylight.

A few days ago I was in a big argument with my 13 year old who wanted to walk to the other isle to pick up some note books.  My H said, yes, and I freaked and went and found him like he was some 5 year old who walked away.  He protested and carried on while I explained that if something is to happen he would panic as I would looking for each other AND HE CANNOT DO IT.  He looked at me like I was crazy AND .....here is what happened.  But I was not there that night…Thank God. 


Police toting shotguns, submachine guns and assault rifles patrolled Wal-Mart's entrance on Black Friday while bomb-sniffing dogs searched inside
The call came from a man on a pay phone at the Gulf gas The caller said there was a bomb in Wal-Mart and it would detonate in 30 minutes. He warned that at time of the detonation, a gunman in the parking lot would open fire on shoppers fleeing the blast.

A voice on the store's overheard speaker told all employees and customers to evacuate. The store was packed on the busiest shopping day of the year.
A long line at the McDonald's restaurant in the back of the store dispersed. The fryers were left on, and employees quickly made their way to the front of the store.
At the checkouts, witnesses say employees left the registers, but some stubborn customers would not leave until they were checked out, Then, as the reality of the evacuation set in, some shoppers ran toward the exits, creating a few tense moments.
Many customers went to the parking lot and drove away. Others lingered with employees hoping to learn the cause of the drama.
Employees gathered near the gas station that shares the parking lot with the store, and although it was cold, more than one appreciated that they were being paid just to stand there.
Back at Wal-Mart, to the steady stream of newly arrived customers, the nearly empty parking lot likely seemed too good to be true. It was.

One after another, customers walked eagerly toward the line of squad cars and police with shotguns blocking the entrances.
"They're closed. They're closed," a security guard repeatedly said.
Many dazed shoppers were not sure how to react to the news. "How am I going to get my food?" one shopper asked.
Some kept walking forward, others tried to find out what was going on, many just sat in their cars hoping it would soon be over. Plenty went across the street to Kmart

She was not the only person who referenced the August shooting in the same Wal-Mart parking lot. In that case, a man unloading groceries at his car was threatened by a gunman and told to hand over his money. Instead, the shopper pulled out his own gun, shot and wounded the would-be thief.
That is the night I was there with my kids and in the parking lot…AND my kids wonder why I worry….

Then I hear that in NY an employee was trampled to death when they opened the doors and now another store another person the same thing.

This is crazy but I’m getting use to it.  Can you imagine getting use to it.  In the summer they were coming up to your car at a light and robbing you due to the windows open and traffic with no where to drive off to. 

The scary part is that a lot of people are carry Legal handguns, licensed to carry.  As a matter of fact the one man in the above article who had this just saved his own life…but…It is like the Ok Corral…

And a man trampled to death over a TV Sale….in NY…and now I hear another store…Over TV’s on sale.

Argh!! 

But I refuse to live my life Indoors or Online shopping although I do like it but like being outside too, just not comfortable with my younger son with me anymore.  It’s insane before I get out of the car to go over the What if’s…like it’s a Fire Drill but these days the escape and not panic goes beyond any Fire Drill…Sad.

License to carry for me  I am afraid it would be used against me..I don't know if I would have the Whatever you need to be calm or use it .  Some of my friends do and when I was working alone with another girl one night years ago in the office and someone trying doors out came her gun, she was a tiny little thing couldn't have been more then 5ft, focused and well trained in complete control  ..which made me feel better and creepy all at the same time. 

About a month ago when we were alerted to bring the kids in the house that some one was running through the woods Armed…all the neighbors…working the BBQ with their guns…washing cars..like a normal everyday..hon can ya get me my gun..in case flipping burgers. 

What a world these days. 

The bomb was never found or the Caller..and if it was real ..or some kid making a prank or someone very pissed off at WalMart.

But all was safe and no incident...Thank God. 

Just a rant...



Love
Deb

[Gaining Strength]

A few days ago I was in a big argument with my 13 year old who wanted to walk to the other isle to pick up some note books.  My H said, yes, and I freaked and went and found him like he was some 5 year old who walked away.  He protested and carried on while I explained that if something is to happen he would panic as I would looking for each other AND HE CANNOT DO IT.  He looked at me like I was crazy AND .....here is what happened.  But I was not there that night…Thank God. 

Is it reasonable for you to act this way?  YES -  rational even.  Is it good for your 13 year old or good for your relationship with him? NO.

Which do you care about more - being rational or protecting your relationship with your son? 

Does having your 13 year old in your sight protect him?  No - it makes YOU feel better, gives you a sense of control.  Think about it.  What is more important to you?  If having him in your sight made him safer I would encourage you to do so - but it doesn't. 

Don't go to Walmart with him anymore.  Let him go with his father.  Don't smother him.  The price is far too great.  It would be better to not go to Walmart than to take him and treat him like a 5 year old.  It will drive a wedge between the two of you at an important time in his young life.

[debkor]

Hey GS,

Honestly I care more about be rational.  Will this ruin or drive a wedge with my son?  No I don't think so.  Will he still protest.  I'm sure he will.  But Too Bad he is only 13 years old. 

The one thing I do not do is smother my children.  I have had helicopters fly my children to a Trauma unit, I have had broken arms, stitches, you name it.  Things that if I did not let them do would be smothering for protection purposes of them not getting hurt.

No on the other hand there are times when I had to lay the law down and it was just to bad about it.  I understood how they felt I acknowledge their feelings but it was still...No.   

I have taken away cars when they got speeding tickets till a court date...then I took it again when they ran a red light...Mistakes sure they are and I expected them to make them but there were consequences to pay..with their Young Thinking and not paying attention..which had to do with age....this I understood but it was still to Bad.  It was my insurance, my home and my responsibility if they were to hurt themself, hurt others, or even be sued...because of their young inexperienced...thinking.  Lesson's had to be learned and consequences had to be enforced. 

Now I had no control over their driving, couldn't drive for them  and could not keep them safe..but I did have control over the car, my home, my insurance and what will be the consequences...mistake or not...with love...Too Bad...One strike, two strike...and we never got to three.  They had to think of What they were responsible for...and what they were Not being responsible for....which was everyone else, on the road, in the family, ect. 

Now my two older children if in a situation, as per, Walmart...could handle themselves (I hope)..they would leave and know we would meet outside... 13 years old..I don't think he would.  He would look for me and me for him making sure he was out.

This store has had many, many incidents happen if not inside outside in the parking lot.  The area has become a major problem.

Does having your 13 year old in your sight protect him?  No - it makes YOU feel better, gives you a sense of control.  Think about it.  What is more important to you?  If having him in your sight made him safer I would encourage you to do so - but it doesn't

. 

I would have to disagree with you on this GS with the Walmart where I live.  Yes it does protect him a little bit more then if he was off looking at something and A bomb Scare (as it has happened) and a shooting (as it has happened) and rape (as it has happened) and a kidnapping (as it has happened) took place..

I can protect him better and Yes it does make me feel better and Yes I can Control this and should Control this.  I know all to well everything that has happened and to let him be free at the age of 13 when this store is a Target over and over and hope he will know what to do I'm not willing to risk, not at the age of 13.  Nope..never..not going to happen. 

He knows why and if he don't like it...I still stand...Too Bad.

I don't know if I confused things when I wrote this.  I was thinking what a world with what is going on in general and also very focused on what is going on ..where I live...where I shop...been there at times of some incidents and wrote about how I will not let my 13 year old son..free.. in this place on his own.

Don't get me wrong, I do not smother, but in this particular place if it is me smothering him...then so be it.  I know all to well the not what if, it's the when if...and being prepared in case...with my 13yr old son with me.  I know you can't live life with all being in the same place at the same time and me controlling the situation nor would I want to.  I am an adult, my d is and adult, my other son is an adult, my 13 year old is not...and in that particular place...it's not happening to hope he knows what to do...Hell I would have to wing it on what to do...The same stands for even if with his father. 

The price is too great to let him go off and only wait to the When..something happens..directly or indirectly...not there..not at 13.

Love
Deb

[lighter]

Deb:  I so feel for ya.

I had to fight back the urge to focus on survival gear and food through the Thanksgiving Holiday.

I still plan to get that done but.... I'm not going to let those worries take over my life.

BTW..... they, THEY being folks thinking things through, say we need 3 months supply of food and water put away.  You can get little special forces stoves with fans.... they use batteries and burn pinecones and twigs.... the fan brings the heat up quickly for boiling.  I think the Army Navy stores carry them for $20.00  or so.

Buying beans and rice in bulk is a good thing.  The beans that cook in the time it takes to cook rice are best, beans that have the word "peas" in their name usually cook very quickly.  Freeze for a couple days to kill the bugs then put in smaller packages and fill 5 gallon buckets, food grade, with approx a months supply of food.

Matches, batteries, radio, dried foods, spices....... things that you normally eat too, for comfort (chocolate anyone?) need  to be thought of.  Small bills for traveling should be included.  

If you must, you can grab the buckets, throw them in the car and go.

And..... did you know you can eat acorns?  The larger ones are white oak (milder) and the smaller are red oak.... much more bitter.  Boil them a couple times then brine them whatever flavor you like or roast them.  Good nutrition.

They also have water filters and purifying tablets that would be good to have on hand, just in case.

Something to add to our list of worries: /

(((Deb)))  Don't stop being proactive about safety.  Don't let anyone tell you to stifle your instincts.

Lighter

 

[teartracks]

Hi everyone,

Debkor, I feel for you in the circumstances you describe.  Nothing against rural people (I'm one), but my observation is that sometimes rural areas accommodate the crime bent as much as urban areas.  Your post made me look up the most dangerous areas in the country.  They're all over!  I think you have go go with your gut with your children. 

lighter, our brains must work off similar servers!  I always have those extra supplies on hand.  When I travel, I have survival gear in my car.  This habit didn't start because of the 'baddies', but because of traveling over mountain ranges where bad weather might catch me.  However, years after developing the habit, I feel more comfortable having those things available in case I get caught face to face with crimnal elements.

I think all three viewpoints make good points.

I'm sorry you have to deal with such fearsome circumstances, deb.

tt