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Are you embarrassed and ashamed to socialize with Npartner?

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annabelle:
Yes Clara, I have often been embarrassed socializing with my N husband.  And, in my opinion, there's nothing narcissistic about this embarrassment!  Here's how it is...........................

Either he's off by himself not talking to anyone - if there are kids there, he'll be playing with our kids and nobody else - if there are just adults, sometimes he'll just sit in a chair and not talk to anybody.

Or, he's talking on and on and on about his business, himself, and not reciprocating questions about the others in the conversation.

If we're at a party where he knows anyone, he ditches me from the get go, even if I don't know anyone there.  He tells me this is bc he sees me all the time, and bc he's so proud I can hold my own.  He never comes over and "checks in" with me.  I am not clingy by any means, I just hate feeling invisible to him when we're out together (as well as when we're by ourselves).

One particularly disappointing and embarrassing time, a few months after we were married, he spent the whole time at a friend's wedding flirting wtih and dancing with another woman - his family friend's little sister.  

I have found that going places and to parties alone can be more fun and more satisfying for me.  
Good luck to you!

cindy:
I was complaining about my (then) Nhusband to a friend.  He would do practically anything to call attention to himself, then he'd do these really inappropriate things.  He went through a booger picking time - always at his eyes and nose.  When I complained to a friend, saying I didn't want him known around town as the booger man, she put it all in perspective.  She said, "Just as long as you're not known as wife of boogerman."  LOL.

Kate:
Dearest Clara,

YES!!!!!!!

About twice a year my N-husband decides to change his professional appearance, and look like Captain Hook.
He grows out his curly hair, spends about 4 months looking like Albert Einstein before he can put it in a ponytail. Now try to envision this....
He's 49 years old, salt and pepper, balding in his crown, has a walrus like mustache, and wears cowboy clothes.
He belongs to a 'Mountain Man' re-enactors club. So his excuse is....I'm trying to look like my persona...
So sad and strange....

Kate

bunny:
Clara,

I'd certainly be embarrassed in the company of someone with poor social skills. I'd think it reflected on my choice of companion, and worse, that I condoned this person's behavior. I feel mortified! Is this narcissistic? In a small way. But it's also a survival instinct. We don't want to be socially ostracized if people think, "Oh, do we have to invite her, then her husband will be there!" Even if they like you very much, you may be socially excluded at times because of him. So your fear is not unrealistic.

clara:
Since I posted this question I have separated from my N-husband.  Sad thing is that since I left him I asked three of my friends how they perceived him, and they all remarked on how frequently he would put me down -- either in front of me or when I left the room.  Oh, he was always dissing me, usually about my spending habits, which were nothing out of the ordinary.  This just makes me cry.  I guess I am receiving the validation that I really was married to someone who had problems, and yet it also throws into question my judgement of people.  On the other hand maybe my judgement is improving since I am finally getting it about how much of a problem my N-husband was.  Gad, I should have left him years ago...

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