Worse with Age???

[gratitude28]

Has your NParent gotten worse as he/she ages? Mine seems to become more and more delusional. There is not a meal we eat that she does not claim her mother cooked for her. She makes up connections to things, when she obviously knows nothing about them. She talks CONSTANTLY... comments on every single thing. The weird lies she makes up about her family are the craziest, though, and they get outlandish as she goes on...

[SilverLining]

Yes things are getting weirder with my father.   He seems to be having (more) trouble distinguishing between things in the shared world and things that exist only in his own head.  He reads an article about a situation and he talks about it as if he's the author.   His descriptions sound like he is reading from cue cards.  Awhile back he did a monologue about the horrors of war and the experience of being on the battlefield.  Only problem is he never served in a war or saw a battlefield.  I suppose it's something he read about somewhere along the line.   

For awhile I thought things were getting better after he retired, but now I realize it was just the temporary absence of stress.  The core problems have never been far from the surface.   

[sKePTiKal]

Oh yes.

I think it's less worrisome to them and not as important to try to appear "normal" as they age... sort of a "let it all hang out" attitude and blame it on alzheimer's kind of thing. But what happens when Alzheimer's IS part of their aging? Does this enhance the N-attributes, I wonder? Or does it take them back to their original wounding?

[gratitude28]

Wow, Silver, that is strange. But in a way I think NM does the same. She feels as is she were on level with famous scientists and authors - merely from the shred of info she knows about them. You would think she has an advanced degree in science fields, the way she talks! But in reality, she knows next to nothing... a few facts she read or heard somewhere that she repeats over and over.

Amber, I have thought of the Alzheimer connection too. It is almost a kind of dementia like that... I have no idea what would happen if they were stricken with Alzheimers. I can't imagine what their delusions would be like then...

[Hopalong]

As my mother's dementia grew, she repeatedly told me an anecdote about a young man who'd once been in love with her many years ago...whom she wasn't interested in. She lingered over how he told her how disappointed he was.

She never talked to me about my father after her stroke. He worshipped her for 50 years.

Hops

[SilverLining]

Wow, Silver, that is strange. But in a way I think NM does the same. She feels as is she were on level with famous scientists and authors - merely from the shred of info she knows about them. You would think she has an advanced degree in science fields, the way she talks! But in reality, she knows next to nothing... a few facts she read or heard somewhere that she repeats over and over.

That sure seems familiar to me.  It doesn't take much of a shred of info to make them into authorities on any topic.  Maybe it gives them N supply in a couple of ways.  First they can believe they are in a conversation with the famous authors and scientists just by reading a book or watching TV.  Then when the opportunity comes up, they come dump their superior knowledge on other people.   My father acts like he's waiting to pounce on people with monologues about the latest stuff he has read.   As he gets older, whatever boundary there was between what he has read and "reality" seems to be breaking down.   

[Ami]

It is an interesting question, Beth. I haven't had any contact for 4 months . In my last contacts, she was exactly the same--clueless and self righteous--what a combo!          Ami

[gratitude28]

Hops,
My NM has a delusion that she will somehow end up with that man I told you about before - the DR. Once again she left her email open here and I had to know... Sure enough, she tries to keep in touch with this man as much as possible. She even told the man that my dad was sick. He used to be a friend to my dad, but I know she told him wishing that he would be there if she becomes single... The funny thing is she is an unattractive, very overweight, laszy woman, yet believes she is still "hot." NM tells everyone how wonderful my dad is, but to him she always says how she wants a new house, new jewelry, and so on. She makes me sick.

Silver,
Yes, that is just the way it is... But if you go beyond that thread that they know... they crumble and become confused and angry.

Ami,
Good for you, breaking off contact. BTW, I am loving living here in Florida and it has really changed my life. I exercize a ton and have lost weight and feel healthy and I adore the alligators down here

[Ami]

Yes, Florida is wonderful, Beth.  I am glad that you are enjoying living here.  I love it, too.             Ami   

[debkor]

Hey Grats,

Ugh! They make me sick.

I can't even go there with are they worse with age because I'm not sure.  I did think they were but I think that the Worse with Age is Me.  I think they have always been the way they have (not worse) just different things to different connections of what and whom they are connecting with.

It just looks worse to me.  It's really not. 

She to me appears to be a Nobody and an Everybody and some of those Everybody's fullfill her Perverted Life Style (hidden).  Worse sure for me not her...She is who she always has been not worse just different to Whom ever Whatever and I have been able to connect some Dots...Worse..yup for me.

She is not delusional, a liar yes, a Creepo, yes.  She knows the things she has done and claims not to as well as knowing the things she has not.  She has no delusion's about this.  She is just a Liar because that is what she does...No delusions.

Maybe later with her age they will be so embedded in her brain that lies and truth will be mixed but as of now, No.

The delusions she creates is for everyone else they do not belong to her they are there to serve a purpose for her and that is to confuse others.

She is a magician.

Love
Deb

 

[SilverLining]

I can't even go there with are they worse with age because I'm not sure.  I did think they were but I think that the Worse with Age is Me.  I think they have always been the way they have (not worse) just different things to different connections of what and whom they are connecting with.


 

That's a good point.  I've noticed that my N-ish BS detectors have become fine tuned in recent years.  I can feel it, sort of like a knife twisting in my stomach almost everytime I have contact with the FOO.   Might have been too out of touch with these feelings for the years I was obligated to endure their stuff in order to physically survive. 

Maybe it's not them getting worse, it's us getting better..

[gratitude28]

Silver,
That is true... I think that is what Deb was saying
And I think you are both so right. I think it is just dealing with things with out eyes open now...
Love, Beth