My Experience with Healthy Narcissism

[Ami]

I wanted to start a new thread b/c Richards explanations were  helpful on the other thread and I did not want to muddy it with my  experience,which I want to share here.
 I had a brief time in life where I think I experienced Healthy Narcissism.
 I thought I was good enough in the areas I cared about--school, activities, social life etc.
  I felt that my life was exciting  b/c I was expressing my uniqueness ---the things that made me "me".I liked myself and
  mattered to myself. For that ,I felt good inside.
  I strive to get back  to this .    Ami

 
 
 

[seasons]

Ami,

This is a task I am working on also.

This may sound so silly and stupid for an example, but I finally went to the salon to get my hair done. I confess I've kept away because I can't stand to sit in the chair, focus on you,
having to look in the mirror etc............for me it is very painful and embarrassing.
Well one morning in March I went on the fly.
I did it for me. I made it, and I've been back.
No one knows how huge this was for me.

great thread!  love, seasons

[Ami]

Dear Seasons,
 It does NOT sound silly. We have been so beaten down that EVERY  step is a big victory. Tomorrow, I will share some of mine.
                                                                                            Love  Ami

[Ami]

Dear ((Seasons))
 I am doing little steps, also.
 I never knew that I COULD honor my feelings. I truly thought(not actually thought but was programmed to believe) that I existed for  N's(M, F,H) I took that to the next step I existed for everyone.
 What could I do to be liked? What could I do to be told I was attractive, smart, talented?
 I was racing on the gerbil wheel and still am. I see it a little bit, though.
 Let's keep doing the small steps together and share our progress.      Love   Ami

[getnbtr]

I used to be there for everyone too, trying to be liked. Always wondering what it would be like not to care so much about what other people thought, I was programed from NM+H. I never took care of myself, got my first pedicure last year... I loved it but I think I was even trying to get the nail tech to like me the first time?!? I saw people around me just enjoying it so now I do too. I go about every 4 months now and I relax now, just because I want to It takes small step, still find myself on that gerbil wheel too sometimes, but not as often. Your worth it when YOU say so!

yeah for us!

[sKePTiKal]

One of the very first things I still do each day - is to allow myself to wake up by myself. At least one cup of coffee and no conversation, or interaction or media. Just me. Sometimes it's just 15 minutes - sometimes it stretches a lot longer, depending on my needs or unresolved thoughts from the previous day.

After I've greeted myself each morning and allowed myself to become fully awake and conscious... only then do I speak to my hubby and begin getting involved with the day. There is one companion, though... I have "morning kitty" who always comes to silently ask: Are you awake mommy? Can I snuggle with you? After a minute or two, she settles down next to me for her morning nap.

This is my way of making sure - each day - that I do one thing that's important for me.

[Ami]

I think Healthy N is being who you are and saying who you are,without apologies. The hardest part is finding who you are (all parts) and accepting it(all parts).
 Then, joy in life is probably expressing it. I have been there but a long time ago.    Ami

[Dawning]

This is a great (and necessary) thread.  Thanks for starting it, Ami.

For me, it means not being so quick to carry the burden of others as a way to feel good about myself.

And stating what I need.  Today, I told my ex (whose friend is staying with me now and trying to start a learning centre) to leave msgs on MY HOME answer phone for mutual friend that acknowledges the fact that is ultimately my space (and not his friend's) by saying, "hi dawning" before screaming out our friend's name and launching into his message.  I told him this was what I needed and asked him to appreciate it.

[Ami]

I am on the quest for healthy N. I have a friend who role models it for me. It is very strange to me to feel healthy N b/c I feel a giant hand will come down from the sky and say,'Who do you think YOU are?"Then, I will feel ashamed and embarrassed that even had the temerity to try to feel good about myself.
        Ami

[seasons]

I am on the quest for healthy N. I have a friend who role models it for me. It is very strange to me to feel healthy N b/c I feel a giant hand will come down from the sky and say,'Who do you think YOU are?"Then, I will feel ashamed and embarrassed that even had the temerity to try to feel good about myself.
        Ami

Yes..yes..yes.. I totally understand this feeling or distorted reality. (((((Ami)))))) Because this is what N's have programed us to feel and or expect. MORE LIES from them! YUCK

love seasons

[Ami]

Dear (((Seasons))))
 My guitar teacher, who has become a friend, is an example of a person who did not have N interference.  He is a great role model for me.
 I would have had his self esteem if my M did not throw a monkey wrench at me. He trusts himself and has good self esteem and self love.
 We were just monkeyed with. We are as worthwhile as he is. It helps me to see this.    Love  Ami