Are N's intellegent?

[PnkDragn]

Hey all...

All my life my fathers intellegence has always been pushed on me.  Mostly by himself and a few others.  But I'm begining to wonder just how intellegent he really is.  He has never done anything great in life except for one thing that I know of.  He does have a small company that has been in business for 28 years tho.  He would have lost that if it hadnt been for mom and bro.  He has never had an IQ test done but boasts on how much he knows.  He does read an aweful lot but doesnt retain most of that information.  Standing back and watching what is going on in the divorce of my parents I dont think he is truely that intellegent.  He is motivated by greed and paranoia.  It's sickening.  

I have an above average IQ but have always been told how stupid I am.  My brother has an even higher IQ but N'dad wont admit it.  Within the past few years Ndad has formed a relationship with his nephew who he has hardly ever talked to but now boasts how smart his nephew is.  I personally have never been impressed by him but the Ndad seems to think other wise.  Recently Ndad bought several thousand dollars worth of equipment for my cousin and he has never called and thanked my Ndad...lmao  I think this is so funny.  He has never even so much as given me a dime in my 35 years that I was very angry when I found out that he had bought all this stuff for my cousin.  But just the fact that he was never thanked brought it all into perspective...lol  He is such a jerk.  My hatred for him goes beyond words.

Finally at peace,
PnkDragn

[Lizbeth]

I have had 2 n husband's and one N son.  Husband #1 is above average intelligence, but not brilliant.  He also has a failed business and now works blue collar.  Husband #2 is also above average, has a college degree, but he is a waste of skin (see my other posts).  total waste of an educaton.  Son is slightly above average, sent him off to school, but that was a waste.  

Some N's are very smart and do well in school, others are disorganized and lazy.  It all depends on the N.

Hey all...

All my life my fathers intellegence has always been pushed on me.  Mostly by himself and a few others.  But I'm begining to wonder just how intellegent he really is.  He has never done anything great in life except for one thing that I know of.  He does have a small company that has been in business for 28 years tho.  He would have lost that if it hadnt been for mom and bro.  He has never had an IQ test done but boasts on how much he knows.  He does read an aweful lot but doesnt retain most of that information.  Standing back and watching what is going on in the divorce of my parents I dont think he is truely that intellegent.  He is motivated by greed and paranoia.  It's sickening.  

I have an above average IQ but have always been told how stupid I am.  My brother has an even higher IQ but N'dad wont admit it.  Within the past few years Ndad has formed a relationship with his nephew who he has hardly ever talked to but now boasts how smart his nephew is.  I personally have never been impressed by him but the Ndad seems to think other wise.  Recently Ndad bought several thousand dollars worth of equipment for my cousin and he has never called and thanked my Ndad...lmao  I think this is so funny.  He has never even so much as given me a dime in my 35 years that I was very angry when I found out that he had bought all this stuff for my cousin.  But just the fact that he was never thanked brought it all into perspective...lol  He is such a jerk.  My hatred for him goes beyond words.

Finally at peace,
PnkDragn

[Ellie]

My Ndad didn't complete HS, got a GED in the Army and can't read very well. He expects  perfection from me, but isn't near perfect himself. Growing up, if he made a mistake - in classic N style - he blamed others - mostly me.

BUT....
us kids could never make below a B on a report card. We were always reminded how we were not as smart as him. If we dared say he didn't graduate we risked getting slapped.

Ndad was handy with his hands. He could build things, take things apart and put back together with ease. But even though he dictated the grades (compensating for his weakness) he still didn't want any of us to go to college. Since we were girls, he wanted us married and making babies, living next door to him so he could start the cycle again.

Nmom was average intelligence, could never help us with math, research, or hard stuff. Neither of them will touch a computer today, I have a computer degree and they actually think it makes me evil. They allowed my niece to have a computer in their home, but they think I shouldn't have one or make a living off it.

I think that the less intelligent Ns are famous for making life hell for their kids in an attempt to compensate for their lack of intelligence.

Also, Nparents forced us all to learn to play the piano. They cannot carry a tone, but made us all sing in front of everyone at church. We were simply filling the gap for all the things they were no good at. If we excelled in something they couldn't do, they criticized us for being able to do it - except for playing the piano and making good grades. There we could never make enough As and never could play well enough except my older sis.

[Jenocidal]

My sociopathic NPd mother isn't dumb, that's for sure.  She is well-read - and has a fantastical imagination.  She completed grade 7 - dropped out of school -had me - then when she was 28, she went back to college for two years - when she then moved us to another town to finish her education - forcing me, at the age of 16, to drop out of school so that I could babysit her prized posession, my litte brother, while she was off bettering her education.  Go mom.

Allthroughout my growing up that bitch who calls herself a mother sabataged my education out of her fear that I would excel beyond her in educational successes.  She couldn't possibly stand to "compete" with me.  On the other hand, that woman nurtures my younger brothers education.

[Anonymous]

hello,

Ns can show themselves superior a couple of ways, usually emphasizing one.  They are better-looking than everyone else (God's gift to the species) or they are smarter than everyone else (again, God's gift...).  It really doesn't matter if it is true or not--THEY think so.  An interesting thing put forth by one T/author was that if the N parent was one, the N child would be the opposite.  "I'm beautiful" says the parent, "OK, you can have looks, I'll take brains" says the child.

The scales fell off my eyes about my father's intelligence (true, he was more highly educated than his parents) when he always insisted on his political party line.  No questioning, no discussion, just swallowed that year's platform whole and rammed it down our throats too.  I also noticed that the only people he would voice a positive opinion about were people who put money in his pocket (customers, etc.)  

He would SAY he was willing to talk to anyone about any issue as long as they had all the "facts".  But anyone stupid enough to believe him was torn apart.  Yep.  My father, the open-minded thinker.    Like a true N, he is more interested in being right than in learning.

Seeker

[Lizbeth]

My S mother (schizophrenic) was very smart, as most S's are.  In fact, she was the saludatorian of her high school.  She won the French medal her senior year.  One of the good things she did do for me was teach me to read and write before the age of 5 and I knew how to speak French at the age of 2 (but I forgot it later, I was terrible at French in Jr. High School).  Of course, her "good" was also a form of torture. Iwas made to do my homework over and over in elementary school.  In High School,  I would come home with a 97 on the history regents (a 2 year history exam the entire state took in NY), 4th highest grade in the jr. class, and her only comment was "why didn't you get 100?.  

Later on, in college as an adult (just a few years ago as a returning adult), I felt compelled to get an A in every class.  I also berated myself if I got even one question wrong on a test.  I took notes in class and then typed them up until they were as thick as a book.  I was inducted as a member of the Honor Society, etc.  Of course, working full time, helping my husband with his business, taking care of the house and taking two classes in this manner just about killed me, I had a nose bleed that showed my blood pressure to be 100/200, and my doctor made me quit going to school.  My dead mother still haunts me in this way.  Someday I will go back when I don't have to work any more, take 1 class at a time, just so I can say I finished, at least my AA degree.  

My Ndad didn't complete HS, got a GED in the Army and can't read very well. He expects  perfection from me, but isn't near perfect himself. Growing up, if he made a mistake - in classic N style - he blamed others - mostly me.

BUT....
us kids could never make below a B on a report card. We were always reminded how we were not as smart as him. If we dared say he didn't graduate we risked getting slapped.

Ndad was handy with his hands. He could build things, take things apart and put back together with ease. But even though he dictated the grades (compensating for his weakness) he still didn't want any of us to go to college. Since we were girls, he wanted us married and making babies, living next door to him so he could start the cycle again.

Nmom was average intelligence, could never help us with math, research, or hard stuff. Neither of them will touch a computer today, I have a computer degree and they actually think it makes me evil. They allowed my niece to have a computer in their home, but they think I shouldn't have one or make a living off it.

I think that the less intelligent Ns are famous for making life hell for their kids in an attempt to compensate for their lack of intelligence.

Also, Nparents forced us all to learn to play the piano. They cannot carry a tone, but made us all sing in front of everyone at church. We were simply filling the gap for all the things they were no good at. If we excelled in something they couldn't do, they criticized us for being able to do it - except for playing the piano and making good grades. There we could never make enough As and never could play well enough except my older sis.

[mighty mouse]

My NPD sister went to Yale and Harvard (kicked out for N behavior but was able to finish at Brandeis). So, smart, she definately is. But book smart. She's actually quite naive in many ways and doesn't have other types of intelligence. And cognitively, she's a nightmare at times and she has the propensity to repeat things over and over again. She doesn't seem to remember things people tell her but I suspect that's because she doesn't think anyone else is very important. She will repeat things you tell her wrongly (again I think NPD is the culprit). But she is a genius at coming up with theories (that always support her suppositions), but I've found many of them to just be self-serving and have no basis in the real world. She also can't spell worth beans (which is no sin of course), but it makes it hard to read her stuff and it would be thoughtful to other people for her to pick up a dictionary once in a while. She is aware of her typos but will absolutely NOT ever do anything to fix them and shame other people for saying anything about it.

Oh, that one is a piece of work! She's now a professor. God help her students since she is bigtime N. Maybe she'll behave around them. But she will probably go after a married prof at the University she works at now. She won't have an actual affair but will email some poor sap that she's attracted to. She's truly in her own world.

MM

[Lizbeth]

Yeah, Academia is full of N's.

My NPD sister went to Yale and Harvard (kicked out for N behavior but was able to finish at Brandeis). So, smart, she definately is. But book smart. She's actually quite naive in many ways and doesn't have other types of intelligence. And cognitively, she's a nightmare at times and she has the propensity to repeat things over and over again. She doesn't seem to remember things people tell her but I suspect that's because she doesn't think anyone else is very important. She will repeat things you tell her wrongly (again I think NPD is the culprit). But she is a genius at coming up with theories (that always support her suppositions), but I've found many of them to just be self-serving and have no basis in the real world. She also can't spell worth beans (which is no sin of course), but it makes it hard to read her stuff and it would be thoughtful to other people for her to pick up a dictionary once in a while. She is aware of her typos but will absolutely NOT ever do anything to fix them and shame other people for saying anything about it.

Oh, that one is a piece of work! She's now a professor. God help her students since she is bigtime N. Maybe she'll behave around them. But she will probably go after a married prof at the University she works at now. She won't have an actual affair but will email some poor sap that she's attracted to. She's truly in her own world.

MM

[lissie_lou]

Hi,

I'm 18 and I still live with my parents - my dad is an N and I am consistently reminded of his intelligence and how brilliant he is. Often I am not only reminded but then asked "How intelligent is your Dad? Just tell me, isn't he clever?" And then I am to smile in adoration and say "Of course your clever Dad!!" I cringe....

My mother and I both know that I am far more advanced in my musicality than my Dad (dad works in the media/music industry) and he knows it too, but whenever I perform or play one of my latest songs to him, he immediately goes "oh that's good, did you hear what I did the other day?..." And of course the attention is shifted to him.

Well, at least I am aware of it! I pretty much pray for sanity everyday!

Liss