N Parent(s) & Siblings???

[mattiedread]

I've read a fair amount of N material over the last 4 years, primarily in spurts (when I 'slip' back into memories). I've had no contact with my family for 4.5 years now. (Well, I get an occasional phone call that I make certain last less than a minute and my Nmother sends cards for occasions).

I recently read, possibly somewhere on this site, that 64% of children of Ns show some signs (on the 1-10 scale) of Narcissitic behavior.

Has anyone had experience with this? My mother is an N as is my brother. My sister clearly shows signs (outrageous jealousy and a sense of entitlement that is almost bizare). Has anyone had experience as or with a normal child in an N family? Statistically speaking the occurance should be high, but, I haven't seen any mention of it.

[flower]

Hi mattiedread,

Has anyone had experience as or with a normal child in an N family?

Evidently you haven't found any normal ones in your family either.

I wish I could say whether or not I have.  It seems that everyone is selfish to some extent, none of us is perfect. I felt so different from my family members so I guess I would have been normal if things would have been different. I don't see how anyone who is abused can be called normal...  Can't see how anyone can really come out normal with a malignant N ruling the roost. My deceased sister used to go around saying she was perfect and seemed to want attention publically a lot and didn't want to work. My brother is , sad to say, depressed at midlife and is a bully. My dad acts all generous, wants to look generous,  but never can give what he promises freely. He just talks about himself whenever I see him. Only asks how are you? Doesn't have too much interest in my life at all. Then there is my cheating, fraud loving, doubting mom.  What can I say? I'd like to know where these normal people are too.

[Lizbeth]

I have a N son whose father is an N.  He was  not even raised with him, spent only weekends twice a month with him during his childhood, but they turned out quite the same nonetheless.  They even have the same evil laugh.  

I've read a fair amount of N material over the last 4 years, primarily in spurts (when I 'slip' back into memories). I've had no contact with my family for 4.5 years now. (Well, I get an occasional phone call that I make certain last less than a minute and my Nmother sends cards for occasions).

I recently read, possibly somewhere on this site, that 64% of children of Ns show some signs (on the 1-10 scale) of Narcissitic behavior.

Has anyone had experience with this? My mother is an N as is my brother. My sister clearly shows signs (outrageous jealousy and a sense of entitlement that is almost bizare). Has anyone had experience as or with a normal child in an N family? Statistically speaking the occurance should be high, but, I haven't seen any mention of it.

[Anonymous]

Hi

I suspect my oldest brother is "Nish" but I think this is some kind of emotional stunting that happened early.  He was the oldest and therefore first threat to Ndad.  He is now extremely passive-aggressive and selfish.  He is kind to his own sons though.  He is manipulative and sneaky because he had to be to get anything or do anything he wanted/needed because of my father's rage.  He is also a weakling.  Kind of like Fredo in the Godfather.

My other brother is N to the max, very openly angry, competitive, attention-seeking, charming, and has no empathy.  Even competitive about who has problems because that would take attention and sympathy away from him.  Ndad abuses him more than the others (he says) and mother loves him most.    Very critical and takes no criticism off others.  Ugh.  Kind of like Sonny in the Godfather.

I don't know if I'm N or not.  I worry about it.  Especially when I do something for myself and that I actively say to myself, No, I'm NOT going to call them or worry about them.  I have a tendency to be self-absorbed and want to block out the world.  Because if I let the world in, it will want to take something from me, versus give me something.  Why don't I think in terms of what I can give the world?  Sometimes I do, then I feel let down if I feel I didn't get anything back.  -sigh-  I feel like an outsider, like Robert Duvall in the Godfather.  You know "you're smart and sometimes useful so you can stay--you're like family."

For what it's worth...peace, Seeker