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Family cults and one-on-one cults

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Jenocidal:
As I've mentioned here before - my mother raised us kids under the constant threat of a "satanic cult" stalking us.  She had us all convinced that we were bound together against this "group" of people (whom didn't exist).  I wasn't allowed to socialialize as a teen, after school - my mother would want me home right away so the cult wouldn't get me.  I feel that it was a control tactic in most cases.  They were "out to kill" us.  And we needed stick together. How crazy is that?!

nassim:
Darn Flower,

That was a good read. Good stuff. There are sometimes bits and gems of info on this board that make me remember why I come here even when things gets a bit dicey occasionally (ya know with trolls and such).

Something that seems to be a running theme here is a N parent being the conduit for all information regarding the family (siblings, especially). That seems a bit cultish to me. My mom doesn't seem to like it when we siblings talk to each other instead of through her. I just started in the last year or so talking with my siblings via email, letter and phone on a direct basis and it has been rewarding. Before, everything was filtered through my mom. Too bad, so sad for her though. I really like getting information first hand and it's not filtered through the gauze of a sick head case.

Thanks again, Flower.

N

Anonymous:
Hello Flower and all,

Sibling communication, probably a good topic for a thread.  My mother was not comfortable knowing when we kids would be talking about our parents as the topic, but I guess that's natural.  She wasn't the Alpha N but she had a "mole" in the Kid Zone in that my brother would report to her anything I said that was damaging to me.  Never mind the fact that he was an equal participant in the conversation...as I posted on another thread, I learned to keep my cards close to my vest.  

Once in a while I let my guard down, and whap!, I learn and remember why I need to keep my guard up.  In addition, I was not allowed to tattle on him at any time.  He was like a informer in a concentration camp, sucking up to the guards.  As a result, I do not confide in friends as much as close friends do and that has kept distance in my friendships.  It bothers me, but that's the way I'm built.  

Just recently I was sharing with a sib about the Alpha N, actually the other way around.  As I was listening, I heard a story about growing up that I had blocked out but remembered as I heard it.  My leg started shaking uncontrollably, not just a jitter, but full on spastic movements, like I was in shock maybe?  It was about how angry my father was that we "ate so much" and we weren't allowed to do that.  I think I shook because it was scary to consciously realize that one of my parents didn't want to feed me.  That we were competing for food, not sharing.   :shock:

Ick, Seeker

Discounted Girl:
Thanks Flower and to all of you who posted -- this is a really good topic. I have often thought about N's being "brain-washers" of small children and those of an innocent, naive-type personality. It is more than a little embarrassing to admit to being brain-washed by someone so obviously lacking in charm, but it happened. I guess, bottom line, they are masters of deceit -- it's all about non-truths and manipulations of truths, creating guilt and smashing dreams -- all built on deception. Ugh ,,,,

Seeker -- I especially like your  reference to your brother as a "Stealth N" and I know exactly what you mean by "playing the victim, changing the subject, and selective attention." A slippery jerk, and a Teflon N -- ohhhhhhhh ......  :roll:

switzerland:
"It was about how angry my father was that we "ate so much" and we weren't allowed to do that.  I think I shook because it was scary to consciously realize that one of my parents didn't want to feed me.  That we were competing for food, not sharing.   :shock:
Ick, Seeker"

(sorry, couldn't get the quote thingy to work)
WOW. Yes!!  that rings a bell with me.  It took me a long time to piece it all together.  I have noticed all my life that  N-men are chauvinistic and always took noticed and exaggerated the amount of my food intake.  This started with my dad as a small child, then later with almost all of my boyfriends. YIKES!!  Granted, i have always been a slim gal and it was never about the food.  In recent years, i read up on feminists books and found it a reoccuring theme with men trying to control women with food intake.  It's a good clue to keep away from N-people who are competing with you for food and everything else.

Switzerland

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