My Truth

[Meh]

Neck, problems with the neck. Choking my essential voice.
Heh, some people do not want to hear my essential voice.

My voice is angry angry angry. The voice itself I think has it's own life.

Is this a spirit or a monster?

MAYBE THERE IS A VOICESPIRIT TO ADD TO MY LIST.

[Meh]

THIS VOICE SPIRIT IS TOO LOUD FOR SOME PEOPLE.
THIS VOICE SPIRIT CAN echco. THE VOICE SPIRIT IS THREATENING
I HAVE AWAYS FELT MY VOICE IS THREATING TO OTHERS.
THAT MY VOICE MIGHT MAKE THEM CRY.
NOT BECAUSE IM SAYING SOMETHING MEAN BUT JUST BECAUSE ITS MY TRUTH.
I HAVE FELT THAT MY TRUTH COULD MAKE SOMEONE CRY. REALLY? DO I THINK THIS?
Ok This is interesting.

Afraid of offending someone. Hah! How lame-o-dumb-o-stupid-o-is that.
Stu-pid-OH.

I'm afraid that if I have a voice I will be punished and my life will fall apart. Well that is a joke. My LIFE ALREADY CAME APART BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE A VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sKePTiKal]

Keep going.
This is good work... you are finding YOU.

And maybe your YOU is being initiated into the corp of those "spirits"... as you peel away the things that are NOT YOU... the things that got thrown at you and stuck... like tar.

The tension in your neck; the grinding teeth... yes, it's a signal of sorts from you to YOU (or vice versa). It's been that way for me. Something (and it sounds like you're getting close) needs to be addressed.

You'll get there just by doing what you're doing here.

[Meh]

I'm about to place some psychic weapons into the hands of my inner child.

She is going to get a voice.

It's like a right of passage an elder handing over a spear to a child-becoming an adult.

I see a ceremony. There are people there. They are tribal elders.
Something is happening. This feels momentous.

Little Helen, is being given a Shield and Spears. The elders want her to have this power. They approve.

There is someone really important there, like the big Kahuna.
He is watching and he approves. He wants me to have the psychic weapons.

I'm being given other things, a bag, like a medicine bad.

Some scrying sticks or something.

Some objects I don't know what like a shaker.

Some shoes.

What else. some wings?

I see sort of like little eggs or stones.

A birds nest. (this is a drawing i made)

[Meh]

Women are dancing at my ceremony. Like african dancing. Dancing out a story. Maybe they are dancing out my story.
Yes the African elder-women are dancing my story. And the men are listening.

[Meh]

There is food, and these little offering bundles of flowers.

There are scars. I have real scars at the ceremony and the elders respect the scars.

[Meh]

I think this is sort of a painful blood-letting type of ceremony but the blood contains anger and crap and lies and garbage and everyone at the ceremoney including me agrees that the Garbage has got to come out. It's being collected in a brass pot and the big kahuna is over-seeing this. I'm safe. IT's ok. It is a good blood-letting. The blood is going to be taken somewhere and the big kahuna is going to purifying it before dripping it onto the earth. something is suppose to grow out of it. a tree that kahuna tends and guards the tree himself. This must be a really important tree.

[Meh]

The tension in your neck; the grinding teeth... yes, it's a signal of sorts from you to YOU (or vice versa). It's been that way for me. Something (and it sounds like you're getting close) needs to be addressed.

A signal from you to you or vice versa.. This I love...
You are so funny, I'm laughing!!!

[Meh]

Oh, ok...
I'm back there again with the tribe and I have a blind fold on and they are taking me somewhere. It is a totally differnt place, it's like a new world. They are guiding me there because it is dark. They are with me and I'm not afraid and I trust them.

I'm in a cafe and writing so I'm not 100% there, maybe 30-60% there.

They have got feather things on their head but not like native american.

There is someone there really important it is a very very old elder. He is looking at me straight into my eyes and I'm crying and he sees me. And he knows my whole story and he accepts my whole story. And he approves of me having the psychic weapons.
He is giving me something it is small I'm not sure what it is. It is maybe something that I put inside my heart.
He is smiling at me. A proud, knowing, kind smile.

[Meh]

Now I'm given something to drink and it takes me back like a near-death-life-review.
I see myself and I'm a little kid playing.
I'm just watching.
Maybe the adult me and the kid me are integrating better.

The women who are dancing my story are watching intently they can also see what I'm seeing.

Ok, I know should keep on.. but I need to take a break...

[Meh]

The neck. A thought. I'm living my life like a little girl because I wasn't given the power and the weapons and it's not working.
My voice is a "weapon" and I need it.

[Meh]

Someone cut my arms off, and now I'm growing new arms like a lizard regenerates it's tail. I have spears in my hands and my eyes can use the spears to fight against people when I need to. The spears have gold tips. I may even have spears that I can use to do psychic surgery on myself. Yes, I see this now, the spears are not all for warfare. Some of the spears have multiple uses.

[Meh]

Psychic blood is like chi, time, life energy, lies, thoughts.

Ok, the tribal elders are going to go get a cheeseburger. I better eat also.
Write later....

[Meh]

There is a fierce little Helen. She is so tired of playing dead, Pretending to have a lobotomy. 
I see little Helen twirling around with daggers like a tasmanian devil.
She is contracting there are all these parts and all this stuff that is all concentrating into her core. Like a gravitational pull. She is collecting herself like a storm concentrating into an electrical storm.
Ok, little Helen, don't wear yourself out. GO eat.

[Ami]

((((((Helen)))))))                                             Ami