The thing about men is, we get so depressed because half of us is missing. I think thats what I mean by women having it a little better. A woman has a girl and there you go, she has a real-life 3D model for her behavior. A woman has a boy and if dad (or some other male) isn't around to lead the way, mid-life will slam us to the pavement, when youth, vitality, mental clarity, looks, etc. begin to fade. I have a female cousin my age who always has lived at home with her mom. Her two older brothers moved out, started families and moved on. Their father died when they were young and my aunt did a good job raising them all. My female cousin just stayed put like a hermit, just like her mom, going to work, coming home, sleeping, etc.
That is why the two biggest demographics for suicides are males, 20-24 and males 35-40. The first group is being pushed out into the big bad world and dad wasn't there to set the foundation. Then in the late 30's, those that had enough to get through the first stage can't make it through the second. In my case, my mother married for a couple of years when I was 11. Paul taught me how to fight and stand up to the bullying I was getting. I was lucky enough to be handsome and athletic so I could get the girl. Those got me this far but oh the wall I've hit now.
I don't know how long I have left so I'll say it now. Ladies, be very aware of how mothers around you behave with their boys. You can step in the gap like a man cannot easily do. Show them the statistics, tell the stories, be a witness. Little boys who are sheltered by there mothers because Dad is a deadbeat, and try to do it themselves are causing a ton of the mess. Let your boys act out as boys, do not respond with emotion, hold it in remain calm, set limits and stick to them. Listen to them, do not baby them if there is no man around. Let them try and fail. Let them do themselves, struggling to open that lid. Do not reach for it even when your sure they cant do it. Be tough if there is no man around.
I will be honest here. Men like me objectify women obsessively. We see women as sex objects. We say and do things to get in your pants and that is it. Because we didn't get real two way love from our mothers, we take it out on the women we try to form relationships with as adults. Guys like me can walk into a bar and scan the room in less than a minute, make eye-contact with the ones that are running from bad daughter/father relationships and prey on them successfully most every time. I don't love my wife because I have no idea what that is. I do her bidding so she will give me sex. I compliment and flatter her for the same reason. I hate domestic life, all N males do. Its just that we NEED someone to take care of us. We see our children as extensions. It takes all I can muster not to rage at my oldest boy when he gets mouthy with me. I cannot for the life of me find the middle ground between wallflower and violent abuser. I choose wallflower because I don't want to hurt him.
I think about suicide all the time because if you can imagine, a true N walks through life with his evil twin right in front of his face at all times. We are machine-like in our actions to gain approval. When the veil is lifted after a serious life challenge, we are the emperor with no clothes. Every eye movement, every breath we take is being watched by that evil twin screaming in our ear. It is a living hell and I believe the only hell there really is.
When a man, or woman for that matter decides to take their own life, they are beyond help. That doesnt make one bit of sense to most people but they have turned over every rock, talked to tons of therapists, taken multiple drugs, scanned thousands of websites and nothing makes that critical voice that keeps getting louder and louder stop. Finally the day comes when the restful peace that death brings outweighs the hope that something can make the voice go away. Death brings heaven, hell or nothing. We hope for heaven, we're already in hell, and nothing beats what we have now.
