Realization

[Ami]

Holy crap.  You M is horrendous for saying that.  BTW, is she just your M or your NM?  Not trying to pry but she's got the traits, no?  What on earth made her bring up a story like that?  Was she just reminscing about her glory days??? LOL!
 
(((((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))))

Dear Bear,
 I am so used to these stories that they don't seem so bad. I get surprised when other people act shocked. KWIM?
What happened was that I said my F never protected me. She protested that he picked me up from the kid's house  when she didn't want to. That was how it came up. She had a tough attitude that she would have let me stay--what a Big shot. She would have let a 13 year old kid stay overnight at a creepy guy's house who would have hurt her.
 My NM is a practicing therapist. Did you know that, Bear?       xxxoo  Ami

[nolongeraslave]

((hugs)) Ami..that's awful that your mom said that, although you probably had to "get used" to it to survive.  Don't tell me that your mom treats sexual abuse survivors too, does she (if you know?) That's just scary.  I'm sorry your dad didn't protect you. It's sad how so many of us were alone and neglected, yet we're still here and it didn't kill us.

[sKePTiKal]

Hey Ami....

we are a LOT of things due to being children o' Ns, but like Erin described so well... we are able to choose to not let that programming or emotional conditioning be in control of who we are and we realize that we can do "better", those times we do automatically "channel" the conditioned "evil mom" - we apologize and know we were in the wrong. And for me, that is how we are DEFINITELY "not like them". They can't choose; they can't learn to be their core selves... they can't apologize or change.

It's just a myth (and the myth is "busted", i.e. no truth in it) that we inevitably become our mothers.

[Ami]

Thank you (((NLAS and Amber))))

I had a dream last night that I was in a hostage situation. I finally saw a group of people who would help me. I knew one was my M even though she looked different. I said," I found you. Thank Goodness". She looked at the others slyly. I looked around and saw there were several emotions on their faces--blankness, shame, anger, hatred.
 She said,"We are gonna kill you."

I played along by saying "That is Ok. I am ready to die. I won't make problems." They seemed relieved. Then, they put me in a tree house as a prison until they could kill me. I fought back and some people came to help. Then,I said,"Someone call the police".I wondered why it took so long to FIGURE out to call the police.
 Then , the police came and I knew it was over.

My feelings during the dream were mainly strength of will that I could overcome .