The N is Stupid

[Ami]

I am just realizing that my NM is really an idiot. As I talk to my Aunt and other sane people I realize that the N  is high up on the stupidity meter.
 They can't pick up what other people are feeling  so they can't figure out how to get along  in life.
  I guess this is what Dr G calls "subtext". Has anyone read the article about subtext? If you did, I would be interested in your feelings about subtext and the N's you know. Is your N stupid as far as picking up environmental cues?
                Ami
 

[bearwithme]

I'd be interested to read the article.  Where can I find it.

And yes, the N is stupid.  They have not the slightest clue what is going on around them and my NM is really clueless about so much.  She makes up so much crap and thinks she's speaking the truth.  She makes up weird stuff to fill in the holes where she doesn't know anything, like she may know a little bit about dogs but when someone starts to talk about training the dog, the dog's diet and specific needs, she'll start spewing off some bizarre crap about how dogs talk to humans and that they have an extra brain in their nose that's why they can smell really good!!  I'm totally serious.  

[nolongeraslave]

YES...I noticed this after not seeing NM for a long time.  She isn't capable of genuine emotional connection or intellligence during conversations. No wonder she talks about people's weights, b/c that's all what she knows how to do.  When people talk about their jobs, she jumps in and says my hair is oily in front of everyone. WTF does that have to do with anything?


I've noticed that other people do think her mannerisms are strange, BUT they don't say anything.  She doesn't realize that people find her rude. She thinks everybody adores her, but nobody has the guts to tell her off. 

[HeartofPilgrimage]

I have to confess ... my mom is not the primary N of concern right now for me. In fact, my mom is NOTHING compared to the Ns I am having to deal with right now. And I can say with all my heart: these Ns are not only stupid, but they are BORING. If they were not so mean, they would not be able to hold my attention at all. That's why we should get away from Ns as much and as far as we can --- they are so BORING you can't possibly continue to pay attention to them and that's when they stab you in the back. Me me me me. WHine whine whine whine. Yawn yawn yawn yawn. BANG BANG YOU"RE DEAD!

[Ami]

I'd be interested to read the article.  Where can I find it.

And yes, the N is stupid.  They have not the slightest clue what is going on around them and my NM is really clueless about so much.  She makes up so much crap and thinks she's speaking the truth.  She makes up weird stuff to fill in the holes where she doesn't know anything, like she may know a little bit about dogs but when someone starts to talk about training the dog, the dog's diet and specific needs, she'll start spewing off some bizarre crap about how dogs talk to humans and that they have an extra brain in their nose that's why they can smell really good!!  I'm totally serious.  

You are my comic relief tonight ((Bear))) .  A brain in the dog's nose---I love it!                   xxxoo  Ami


PS  The article is on Dr G's home page. It is called Subtext.

[Ami]

YES...I noticed this after not seeing NM for a long time.  She isn't capable of genuine emotional connection or intellligence during conversations. No wonder she talks about people's weights, b/c that's all what she knows how to do.  When people talk about their jobs, she jumps in and says my hair is oily in front of everyone. WTF does that have to do with anything?


I've noticed that other people do think her mannerisms are strange, BUT they don't say anything.  She doesn't realize that people find her rude. She thinks everybody adores her, but nobody has the guts to tell her off.  

Your hair is oily --in front of everyone--a classic!!!!     xxxooo Ami

[Ami]

I have to confess ... my mom is not the primary N of concern right now for me. In fact, my mom is NOTHING compared to the Ns I am having to deal with right now. And I can say with all my heart: these Ns are not only stupid, but they are BORING. If they were not so mean, they would not be able to hold my attention at all. That's why we should get away from Ns as much and as far as we can --- they are so BORING you can't possibly continue to pay attention to them and that's when they stab you in the back. Me me me me. WHine whine whine whine. Yawn yawn yawn yawn. BANG BANG YOU"RE DEAD!

Who are your N's now, Heart?               Ami

[nolongeraslave]

YES...I noticed this after not seeing NM for a long time.  She isn't capable of genuine emotional connection or intellligence during conversations. No wonder she talks about people's weights, b/c that's all what she knows how to do.  When people talk about their jobs, she jumps in and says my hair is oily in front of everyone. WTF does that have to do with anything?


I've noticed that other people do think her mannerisms are strange, BUT they don't say anything.  She doesn't realize that people find her rude. She thinks everybody adores her, but nobody has the guts to tell her off.  

Your hair is oily --in front of everyone--a classic!!!!     xxxooo Ami

She also said "You need to wash your hair three times!"after the "your hair is oily".   Thanks for validating me, b/c my NM says that her scrutinizing comments are "normal talk" and how nobody else minds...Yeah right. I bet people are just as pissed off as I am when she says these things.

[Ami]

YES...I noticed this after not seeing NM for a long time.  She isn't capable of genuine emotional connection or intellligence during conversations. No wonder she talks about people's weights, b/c that's all what she knows how to do.  When people talk about their jobs, she jumps in and says my hair is oily in front of everyone. WTF does that have to do with anything?


I've noticed that other people do think her mannerisms are strange, BUT they don't say anything.  She doesn't realize that people find her rude. She thinks everybody adores her, but nobody has the guts to tell her off. 

Your hair is oily --in front of everyone--a classic!!!!     xxxooo Ami

She also said "You need to wash your hair three times!"after the "your hair is oily".   Thanks for validating me, b/c my NM says that her scrutinizing comments are "normal talk" and how nobody else minds...Yeah right. I bet people are just as pissed off as I am when she says these things.

Normal talk--my ass!                               Ami

[Ami]

i can't believe how I bought the N's POV on life. I was so, so blind!                      Ami

[Nonameanymore]

I think the Ns tune in and out of other people's feelings to suit their needs: when it's to screw you over, they know what's going on. After the damage is done, THEN they play stupid.

[Ami]

I think the Ns tune in and out of other people's feelings to suit their needs: when it's to screw you over, they know what's going on. After the damage is done, THEN they play stupid.

Brilliant,my dear P. That gets N down to one sentence!                                  xxxoo  Ami

[Sealynx]

I don't know about them ever understanding the full import of their actions, at least not the way we do. I always go back to their ability to quickly change emotions. Mine can be in a rage one minute and laughing on the phone the next. One of my aunts is famous for drawing you into a rage filled argument that makes you storm off and then walking up five minutes later and chatting casually as if nothing happened. To me this is one of the most maddening things about N's.

This brings up the question of what is real "feeling" on their part vs. what is mimicry they have learned to associate with avoiding certain interactions or getting attention in spite of an inability to understand fully what is going on around them. To me this is the number one best reason to give up any idea of their having normally understood intentions.

I feel like the more I dwell on mine being capable of hurting me with full understanding, the more I want to punish her and make her account for those actions. Both of these keep me tied to her in ways I really don't think she is capable of responding to.

[Ami]

I don't know about them ever understanding the full import of their actions, at least not the way we do. I always go back to their ability to quickly change emotions. Mine can be in a rage one minute and laughing on the phone the next. One of my aunts is famous for drawing you into a rage filled argument that makes you storm off and then walking up five minutes later and chatting casually as if nothing happened. To me this is one of the most maddening things about N's.

This brings up the question of what is real "feeling" on their part vs. what is mimicry they have learned to associate with avoiding certain interactions or getting attention in spite of an inability to understand fully what is going on around them. To me this is the number one best reason to give up any idea of their having normally understood intentions.

I feel like the more I dwell on mine being capable of hurting me with full understanding, the more I want to punish her and make her account for those actions. Both of these keep me tied to her in ways I really don't think she is capable of responding to.

You make many good points, Sealynx!!!!                      xxxooo   Ami

[bearwithme]

I don't know about them ever understanding the full import of their actions, at least not the way we do. I always go back to their ability to quickly change emotions. Mine can be in a rage one minute and laughing on the phone the next. One of my aunts is famous for drawing you into a rage filled argument that makes you storm off and then walking up five minutes later and chatting casually as if nothing happened. To me this is one of the most maddening things about N's.

This brings up the question of what is real "feeling" on their part vs. what is mimicry they have learned to associate with avoiding certain interactions or getting attention in spite of an inability to understand fully what is going on around them. To me this is the number one best reason to give up any idea of their having normally understood intentions.

I feel like the more I dwell on mine being capable of hurting me with full understanding, the more I want to punish her and make her account for those actions. Both of these keep me tied to her in ways I really don't think she is capable of responding to.

Sealynx, either we are the same person or we have the same exact family, aunts and all.  AMAZING.