Hi Ami,
Astrologically, there is no one chart that fits an N, or N relationships. I've seen many types and combination, everything from charts that seem relatively well balanced to one with all the personal planets in Gemini. Gemini's normally have a sense of humor. Her complete lack of emotion removed any hint of humor.
You also have to consider that parent/child charts express differently because of the power differential. Even in marriage no one will ever "own you" with as much complete authority as a parent. The degree to which a parent can examine their actions and emotions and get some distance from knee jerk reactions becomes important in child rearing.
When looking at relationship charts it is important to first look at each natal chart and discern who each person is. More than anything this will tell you not only what the best relationship you can have with them is, but their likely limitations that you will just have to live with. Synastry(chart comparison) can't change the overall person, even if it creates a few arguments or love connections.
My father had his Mars and Venus conjunct my moon. In a normal relationship this could have been worked out given that the Venus Moon implies that he understood my feelings to some extent. There was an affinity between us, but given his abusive childhood, I had an affinity to parts of him that he had disowned. All the planets were in stubborn Taurus and our lives were one long Moon/Mars (you will not dominate my feelings) battle!! His authority complex was also wounded with Chiron in his sun sign of Aries and I challenged that constantly with my intellectual focus making his quick reactions seem out of place and rash. To make things worse I was much smarter than he was and could out wit him in arguments which caused him to rage. So both peoples charts should be looked at. Some things are intentional and some things just ARE.
My mother who was the true N had an unaspected Neptune which meant that the illusory part of her could pop up anywhere without being "grounded" by another planet. We have a Venus/Sun-Venus/Jupiter conjunctions. We both had strong Aquarian and Pisces planets and should have been able to get along. However our mutual interests only added fuel to the deceptions. I kept trying to make the best of the good stuff while damage was being done due to her instability.
So as you can see there is a lot to this.
N charts have been discussed over on the
www.astro.com forum (but no conclusions were reached) and they have many topics under which to post charts in the forum and get member input. It is a great place to learn and joining is free. If you would like me to look at your charts I'd be glad to eyeball them as I have time. To do a chart you need the Day month and year of birth as well as Time and Place.
