That sounds like you had a super holiday!
We did too ... although I hadn't looked forward to Christmas because I didn't know if there would be drama either with my own mom or with the ex-DIL's family. There wasn't any (at least on Christmas Eve and Day) so it was very nice.
My mom tried to start something but nobody took the bait so whatever she was trying to do died on the vine.
For years I was the conduit that perpetuated the stress. Even after I saw what she was doing, I would still cave in to guilt and respond to her. I would try to get the kids to do stuff to make her happy, which of course nothing made her happy, so the kids would be aggravated because I would make them do stuff they didn't want to do, and it didn't even help because she would end up unhappy anyway. And I was always unhappy because everybody was out of sorts. This year when she started complaining everybody just stared at her.
Sometimes it's good for me to be really tired because then I don't have the energy to try to mediate between my mom and the rest of the family. I just let the chips fall where they may. And when I do that I realize that the outcome is the same, whether I try to make her happy or not. She is happiest when she has something to gripe about. At least at the holidays. I don't know why, but her N is worst at this time of year.
