I'll call you Biddy, since I don't want to call you "Bad"!
Is that okay? (If not, I'll just respect your name as you chose it. I'm too bossy but am happy to be corrected.)
You are very articulate and it's great that you're writing out your story.
I'm sorry for all you've been through. The collusion of your parents seems like the hardest part. Having even ONE emotionally clear parent can really make healing so much easier. When they're locked in their toxic waltz the child feels like so much sawdust on the dance floor.
But you can heal nonetheless. Right now, it sounds as though you need to drain the anger (for as long and it takes), before you can release the past.
Makes sense. That seems to be the way it works for everybody.
You'll find good company for the journey here. And surges forward, leaps, comfort for the times you feel stuck.
Welcome.
Hopalong