Hi, Bear. Oh, my goodness. What a wonderful thing to hear a mom say that she apologized to her child. It is something I'm sure that most of us here on this board have never heard from our own NMs. What a great mother you must be!! I can relate to the rages that you endured from your mother--I suffered similar rages from my own mother--constant and horrifying. And, I relate to your experience as well. I have gotten angry and yelled at my children in a way that made them look at me with wide eyes, and it scared me, too. I apologized and vowed to handle their uncooperative moments differently. And, then . . . of course, I beat myself up about it mercilessly for weeks.
I have found that it helps for me to put myself in what I call my "objective slow motion" mode when confronted with chaotic parenting moments. Yes, it involves deep breaths and counting, but I also ask myself "is what is happening now the reason for my anger?" 9 times out of 10, the answer is "no." And, just taking those simple steps helps me to reasses and regroup before I act. I have found that if I can use reason and logic to get past the trigger moment, then the anger goes away pretty quickly. And, I believe that therapy is important to help me determine where to direct my anger.
I wish you success in your efforts.
Bear Hugs to you,
Butterfly
