Its interesting for me to read this at this time. I'm in conflict with a T.
I am thinking, this is alot about context. I can imagine in a really badly misattuned moment saying that myself, meaning, I have total confidence, you'll be fine, ... no need to contact me etc. ......... and then realize ~ ouch! what a terrible way to express that, and kick myself, have a shame attack, or whatever.
But in this situation, in the context of an N history, ... as well as fear of flying, well, its a bit different. And then, your m. admitted she was angry, so it validated your original feeling. I think it could be seen as just a rather cavalier thing to say, but once we've been affected by an N. were sensitized, and theres not much room for grotty accidents and murky mixed motives.
My conflict with T is that he has said things in a certain way .... every time I bring up a certain subject, and I think he's not with me, he says its my sensitivity. ... ~~~ belongs in a different post I guess.