Question---Reality Check???

[Ami]

Ami, my mother told me that if I died her pain would stop.

Have you noticed that you and I have the word "I" too many times in our posts?

Maybe we are slef centered too mucvh. That is why we suffer so much.
I dont know.

Why does that NOT help,Lupita lol?                          Ami

[HeartofPilgrimage]

Lupita and Ami, I think that the whole point of this voicelessness board is to use the word "I" as many times as you need to in order to get that you matter. I think that the more all of us process our pain on this board, the more unselfish we can be in our face to face lives ... because we know that there is a safe place somewhere, where the people have been through the same type of experiences.

[Ami]

((((((HOP))))))              x o x o    Ami

[Gaining Strength]

Ami - I thought of you this morning as I was working on my pain.  I had an insight into an area of pain that reminded me of this post.  The heart of little girlness was an emotional need that stands apart from rational understanding. When we describe them we put them in rational terms which is the realm in which they are denied us.  The heart and our emotional needs cannot be accessed in the rational but they can be easily denied rationally and that is what our parents did and what we do until we can unlock that cycle.

I'm not doing a good job writing about it but I think I will try to see my own hurt through the eyes of the being that experienced them rather than through my adult eyes.

[Logy]

I think the N's in our lives have clouded our definition of the word selfish.  We learned that we were "selfish" if we were just trying to address our basic needs, physically and emotionally.  The rest of the world sees selfish differently.  So we actually need to learn to be more selfish.  We DO deserve to be able to express our needs, have others listen and take us seriously, respect us.  NM defined these as me being selfish.  Whenever that word pops into my mind, it is a clue to me that I am actually NOT being selfish.

[river]

I think the N's in our lives have clouded our definition of the word selfish.  We learned that we were "selfish" if we were just trying to address our basic needs, physically and emotionally.  The rest of the world sees selfish differently.  So we actually need to learn to be more selfish.  We DO deserve to be able to express our needs, have others listen and take us seriously, respect us.  NM defined these as me being selfish.  Whenever that word pops into my mind, it is a clue to me that I am actually NOT being selfish.

Yes.  Not only this, but theres a backwards swap, the N is so grossly selfish to infinite destruction, so we become averse to anything to do with 'self' or needs, ~ we dont want any part of that act, we desperately want to differentiate ourselves.  Its quite understandable, but without the full understanding, in disowning our 'self-needs', we perpetuate the dynamic of being pushed off the planet even towards annihilation of self, the 'self in exile'.   
Recovery for me is to 'act into the world', but in a better way.   (how successful I'm being is a different matter!).

[Lupita]

Heart!!!!!!!!!!

Ami!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You are so nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ami]

Dear(((( Bones)))
 Your M was a PIG!  You are such a darling person to have come put of that filth!!!!!!          x o x o    Ami

[BonesMS]

Dear(((( Bones)))
 Your M was a PIG!  You are such a darling person to have come put of that filth!!!!!!          x o x o    Ami

Thanks, (((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))))

Bones