Lupita,
Its wonderful that you had such a good day with your boyfriend yesterday. Enjoy that! Every minute of it!
I am going to give you a little bit different perspective, but the caveat is that each relationship is made up of the two people that are in it and what is right for them may not be right for anyone else in the whole world. If you are constantly uncomfortable with his behavior, it may not be worth it to keep working at this. Relationships can have hard patches, but if they are a constant drain on your emotions and creativity, they just arent worth it, IMO.
Having said that--his behavior COULD fall within the range of functional. Only you can say if that is good enough for you. But let me tell you how I look at it:You and I are in our 50's. We are not going to "train" any man who is in our age range. (and I am good with that--training men is greatly overrated). We can no longer fool ourselves that we can "change him". The man we love is who he is. I see my job to be to simply find out who he is, and then decide if this is someone I can be with.
For example, you watch to see how he acts when other women wiggle their hips at them. How does he act when you need a ride somewhere or help with something around the house. How does he act when you are sick, upset? How does he act with his children? With his ex wife? What does his apartment look like? His car? How is he with sharing? Does he have any friends?
Me, personally? I do that watching with as little comment as possible. That's for a couple of reasons: one, I dont want him to edit his behavior to make a good impression. It takes a long time to get past the point in a relationship when you are both letting the masks down. Its normal to do that--we are all self-protective. Gradually, we trust the other person enough to let them see the whole us.
If we immediately get critiqued, we put the mask back up again and try to be someone that our lover loves. So, I try not to critique unless its a deal-breaker thing. I want to see the real him as soon as possible. If he treats his kids badly, I want to see that. If he maxes out his credit card, I dont want him to hide that from me. If he is going to have his ex wife over for the weekend, I want him to call me and tell me. See what I am saying? Then I can decide if this is someone I can have a trusting relationship with.
Back to your situation: to me, the fact that he called you to tell you that hhis ex wife is coming is a a good thing.....CB