The Rabbit Dream Series...

[Sealynx]

I recently started having dreams that involved my pet rabbits. I have always loved rabbits the way most people love cats and dogs and have three great little buns who roam my kitchen at will.  By studying these two dreams I’ve gained some insights into how my mother set up my emotions to battle each other. Some of you might find this valuable.

Here are the two dreams:

In the first dream I am visiting someone to help care for a family who has AIDS. This is interesting as AIDS represents an “acquired deficiency”. So I am battling a deficiency that I acquired.  

I realize that my pet rabbits have been put on the back porch (where they stay when I visit my mother).  A large, old, black and white, cat who is shedding badly is with them. The bunnies run loose in a pen with an open top. The cat could easily jump in. I figure the best thing to do is keep the cat well fed, so I go off to find food.

A friend interpreted this dream for me. He said that the cat was my black and white, aggressive/ judgmental, side. The rabbits represented my tender and gentle feelings. Unless my aggressive side was kept well fed or controlled in some way it tried to devour my tender feelings.

The second dream still makes me sick. Two of my rabbits were suffering and dying. I decided to hang them to end their suffering, something unimaginably cruel that I would never do!  In the dream I remember checking to see if they were dead yet as if they were slowly strangling and then waking up feeling horrible. It still pains me to remember the dream.

It is interesting that what was going on in my real life was that I was literally trying to shut down feelings for someone.

Someone I was falling in love with had introduced me to their new lover and was asking my advice on their relationship. I had found myself dealing with the F word...friend..when it was the last thing I wanted.

While no one wants to prolong bad feelings. My judgmental, internalized N mom side was literally using the event to blame me for having feelings in the first place!!  Part of me literally wanted to strangle the other part least it cause them pain or embarrassment again!! I realized that I felt the same anger, shame and humiliation that my N mother had hit me with whenever I endured a personal failure or failed to meet her standards in any way! What others did to me was nothing compared to what I did to myself!  

Part of me always sits there like the black and white cat quietly waiting for something to go wrong so it can spring into action.  It screams, I was right and don't you ever do that again!! Rather than being more careful about who I see or more expressive about my feelings to people, it wants me not to have them at all...problem solved! Wasn't this N mom's answer to everything??? Just don't have feelings so I can always have my way?

[river]

Whoevers doing what to whom, theres a horrible sadness and cruelty represented in this dream.  Its harsh for you that you were being given the vision of it was you who was doing that to your bunnies.   
I have had dreams of similar resonance of terrible sadness and cruelty. 

But I also think that dreams are a way of processing things safely, as well as warnings,  even when the feelings linger with us.   I have had so many dreams of me failing to take care of little vulnerable children or creatures, and, in particular, these little creatures being endangered by other predator aggressive creatures.  ~ not so difficult to interpret!   
Im sure this all is meaningful and symbolic. 

I wanted to say, you have great power of  expression in your words.

[Sealynx]

They are harsh and terrible. I guess they only way to get through some aspect of my lingering self hate is to show it as harm to the kindest most lighthearted and wonderful little creatures I've ever known. Thanks for the compliment on my writing. I enjoy writing as a hobby and often use stories to work out my feelings about things through characters.
S

[Gaining Strength]

So glad you posted Sealynx.

I was drawn to your post because I recently had a very powerful dream with a rabbit.  As I analyzed my own dream I recognized that the rabbit was the very key aspect to the healing I have been seeking.  Ironically the rabbit was an image in my maternal grandmother's dream which I was analyzing.  My mother was present and was benignly dismissive of my interpretation.  I say benignly because she simply ignored what I was saying and my initial reaction was to fade into the woodwork but something happened and I gently but firmly and with conviction held onto and repeated my interpretation.  And in an instant I knew that my value, my voice, my being did not depend on being received and valued, at least by those whom I loved. (This is still fuzzy because of course our need to belong and to connect and be loved is essential to our vitality.)

I have been doing research on the symbolism of rabbits but of course the primary symbolism is of fertility and that is not what the rabbit of my dream stood for.  But I really connected with what you wrote.

In the analysis of your first dream by your friend, I am struck by the concept of the black and white cat needing to be fed (i.e. nourished) in order to protect the bunnies.  You also tack on the word "controlled" which perhaps is the right concept.  With your permission I want to run with this conflict a bit.  Please just ignore if it does not fit.  The black and white (judgmental/aggressive side) is shedding badly and is sensed as somewhat predatory.  Perhaps that black and white cat needs to be tended, to be brushed and groomed and cared for, to be calmed.  Controlled rather than nourished but controlled with gentle kindness and love rather than restraint.

The 2nd dream is very complex.  But what you write about your real life tells so much.  If the bunnies are your compassionate side then perhaps your compassion is choking you.  Here is aguess.  Your feelings for your friend and your compassionate nature are killing you - because they have run amok.  In order to have both you must draw clear boundaries.  Your gentle nature does not mean that you must make yourself available for your friend when to do so is extremely painful.  I am gathering that your "friend" is not aware of your feelings for them and that you do not want to tell them.  But still - you must take care of those bunnies and put up a barrier so that your compassion does not mean that you must put yourself in position to experience pain.  There are many ways to avoid making yourself available to a friend without having to cutoff the friendship.  here are a few - limit the time together, change the subject, run to the bathroom and when you return announce that you have a personal emergency and must go.  The limit is your imagination. 

Clearly you must protect the bunnies without sacrificing yourself.  Tame that cat but also protect the bunnies from the cats outside of you as well.

This makes me wonder if that cat was your mother or perhaps even your friend.  The cat must have limits.  Do not give the cat full access to the bunnies.

[Sealynx]

Thanks GS,
One of the strongest components of the cat when I look back on the dream was that I attributed the shedding to old age. This was due to a personal association with another cat I rescued from my old neighborhood after Katrina. It had survived, probably after clinging to a tree, and eating whatever it could find, for over a month while 11 feet of water covered the area!!!  It crawled out from under a board as I examined what was left of my apartment which was still sealed by swollen doors and windows. Since the road was impassable with a trailer at that time, I had just gone to survey whether anything was left to take back.

The cat was skin, bones and fur that came off in clumps in your hand when you touched it.  The vet told me it was a very old cat. I named it Menew and it lived about 18 months before I had to have it put down due to heart disease which had crippled her and left her unable to eat.  When I saw the cat in the dream its age reminded me of Menew because of the shedding. I attribute that to an "old" problem related to the "acquired deficiency". So I think the cats condition was a personal symbol. I use dream books sometimes but I find that many dream symbols reflect back on our life experience in one way or another.

"If the bunnies are your compassionate side then perhaps your compassion is choking you.  Here is a guess.  Your feelings for your friend and your compassionate nature are killing you - because they have run amok.  In order to have both you must draw clear boundaries.  Your gentle nature does not mean that you must make yourself available for your friend when to do so is extremely painful.  I am gathering that your "friend" is not aware of your feelings for them and that you do not want to tell them.  But still - you must take care of those bunnies and put up a barrier so that your compassion does not mean that you must put yourself in position to experience pain.  There are many ways to avoid making yourself available to a friend without having to cutoff the friendship."


I've struggled a great deal with what you mentioned regarding protecting feelings and too much compassion and agree that the dream addresses that but in a different manner. Because I've been working with this issue for so long, I feel like the dream was fine tuning things rather than bringing up the subject as whole. It was asking me to not to strangle "my special kinds of feelngs" which I've learned require time, special circumstances and the willingness to believe in myself. It also requires that I don't take rejection personally. This is what activates the predatory old cat!! It is not so much the lack of a lover I wanted as the inner personal condemnation of everything I am which is being triggered and needs adjusting.

 In this particular case, I felt from the get go that there was something important I needed to help this person with, regardless of personal feelings. There is a long story here I won't go into, but as the relationship evolved  a terrible accident happened to them which was complicated by a long standing lack of self esteem and other serious issues.  At this moment they have completed a job training program that would likely have resulted in their enduring yet another academic failure without my help. I feel as though I have given them not only help that will result in their gaining much deserved financial stability, but valuable confidence in their life skills which will continue to be part of their life from now on.  I don't regret a minute of what I've done for them or the time spent doing it and they are very grateful.

I do a great deal of work helping people and always have, so I've given years of thought to the idea of not showing compassion as a way to "earn love and affection". I see relationships as made up of many things and often our best traits make us the person who can't be loved by someone we have done so much for. I guess what I'm saying here is separating compassion from my feelings for someone is not a new concept. What I have been working on is coming to terms with what kind of love I really want and need and my own ideas about what I really need in a relationship. Part of that is accepting that it is very different from the traditional form which while initially desirable quickly begins to feel like a prison for me. I think this dream is telling me that all of my current impulses are valuable and should be explored internally rather than via seeing them as having to do with the other person choosing a more special kind of relationship with me.

[Gaining Strength]

You have so clearly done so much valuable work.  Thank you for sharing some of that here.

I think this dream is telling me that all of my current impulses are valuable and should be explored internally rather than via seeing them as having to do with the other person choosing a more special kind of relationship with me.

This is a powerful summary that seems to me, from my own experience, to be the crux of the healing process.

[Sealynx]

I recently found an interesting book called "The White Knight Syndrome". It is mostly made up for case histories of people who sought to act like knights in shinning armor and the effect it had on their relationships. It is unfortunately long on description and short on help!!! But it does reflect back on the kinds of childhood experiences that lead to this behavior being taken too far. I wasn't surprised to find many of our childhood experiences described repeatedly. I just passed it on to a friend who is hopefully going to get a long overdue divorce. He has a history of being used by women.

[bearwithme]

Sealynx: your topic here fascinates me.  You have coupled your analysis with your real world experiences and trust your instincts so well.  I'm envious of this tool you have used here to decipher that it is your healing process and perhaps so much more.  I sometimes believe we are left to "dream out" the knots we have in our lives to resolve the destruction to our personal power by our NM's.   I dream constantly about this and wake up so disturbed.

If you will let me tell you a dream of mine, I would appreciate it.  You have rabbits in your dream and I have birds in mine.  Parakeets.  I used to have pet parakeets as a young teen and loved to care for them and teach them to sing and talk.  Here is my dream:

My NM's condo has this wood burning fireplace that has never worked (that part is real).  I was standing in her living room and turned around to see a fire lit in the fireplace and noticed that there were at least 12 beautiful, blue parakeets fluttering around the flames trying to get away from the fire.  The tips of their wings were getting singed as they tried to fly over the fire and up the chimney.  They continued to land on the bottom of the fireplace as the heat was making them exhausted and they were either passing out or burning to death.  I stuck my hand in the fireplace and picked them up one-by-one off the floor of the fireplace.  Each one of them opened their eyes and looked at me as I gently and calmly picked them up.  They felt soft and cool to the touch despite the intense heat.  I kept reaching in to the flames and grabbing them in midair as some were still panicked stricken and fluttering about. I never feared the flames nor did I get burned.  I didn't save all of them but I saved some. 

I woke up feeling so sad because I couldn't save them all.  I will note that I had this dream when I started therapy.

I wonder what the parakeets represent?  My husband thinks it is my self-esteem that was getting torched and now I'm trying to save some of it.

Sorry to hijack your post but I couldn't resist sharing my dream.  Dreams have always intrigued me.

Bear


 

[Sealynx]

Hi Bear,
I'd be happy to put my two cents in and hope others use this thread to discuss their dreams. Birds are particularly significant because they can represent many of our more intangible aspects. Like rabbits, they are fragile creatures, fleeting, and changeable.  That links them to things of the mind, emotions and creativity.

We had a variety of pets when I was little including birds, and I had a dream VERY much like yours in which many small red birds were being tossed into an oven while I looked on in horror unable to save them. In my case they were being tossed in by my father.  I don't remember all the details because that dream occurred about 25 years ago.

In both cases the birds were beautifully colored. Mine red and yours blue. When I look back I see my birds as passions being destroyed, taking the joy out of my life. All of my intense needs and desire were literally being reduced to soot in front of my eyes.

In your case the birds were blue which is a calming color to most people and you had it at the start of therapy. The birds were trying to get free (freeing feelings up) and in order to do so they had to fly over the fire which I think represented reliving through therapy what your parent did to you.  After your "trial by fire" you were able to  "reclaim" many of your feelings as you did by lifting them from the fire. You were also being told that some things could never be set right and would be lost to you (the birds you didn't save). I think the number 12 was significant and wonder if you had commented to 12 sessions, a  year of therapy or if your insurance stipulated 12 sessions. I think that had some temporal relationship.
S

[Sealynx]

GS,
My friend came over tonight with the new GF and wanted me to go over and have dinner with them. I think it was mostly so that there would a foursome (a house guest is spending the weekend). I had already eaten and ended up having the guy who was staying there remain at my house to finish watching a movie while they went home. Worked out beautifully!
S

[river]

My NM's condo has this wood burning fireplace that has never worked (that part is real).  I was standing in her living room and turned around to see a fire lit in the fireplace and noticed that there were at least 12 beautiful, blue parakeets fluttering around the flames trying to get away from the fire.  The tips of their wings were getting singed as they tried to fly over the fire and up the chimney.  They continued to land on the bottom of the fireplace as the heat was making them exhausted and they were either passing out or burning to death.  I stuck my hand in the fireplace and picked them up one-by-one off the floor of the fireplace.  Each one of them opened their eyes and looked at me as I gently and calmly picked them up.  They felt soft and cool to the touch despite the intense heat.  I kept reaching in to the flames and grabbing them in midair as some were still panicked stricken and fluttering about. I never feared the flames nor did I get burned.  I didn't save all of them but I saved some.     

........ this is such a vivid description/ analogy, and how you tell it.  I'd call it your Real Self that is represented.

[Gaining Strength]

sealynx - sounds like it worked out  nicely.  Take care of those gentle bunnies.  They are a life giving source.

[bearwithme]

Sealynx wrote:

The birds were trying to get free (freeing feelings up) and in order to do so they had to fly over the fire which I think represented reliving through therapy what your parent did to you.  After your "trial by fire" you were able to  "reclaim" many of your feelings as you did by lifting them from the fire. You were also being told that some things could never be set right and would be lost to you (the birds you didn't save). I think the number 12 was significant and wonder if you had commented to 12 sessions, a  year of therapy or if your insurance stipulated 12 sessions. I think that had some temporal relationship.

This is really profound to me.  Wow.  Amazing!!  Thank you.

[KatG]

Hi Sealynx,
How have you been doing?  I like dreams – how helpful they can be sometimes. 

You had mentioned others putting their dreams here.  Hope it’s still ok, if not, it’s ok.  There’s one I had in the ’90’s.  Won’t go into details, but what had happened (real life) there was a traumatic event, and funeral (which led to more traumatic things/reactions – people were so upset).  By the time I got there, there were flowers ‘handled’ for me – ‘from me’.  Well, they were just roses plopped in a bucket, whereas the others were beautiful arrangements.  I had nothing to do with any of this, but it was labeled as from ‘loving wife’.  They wilted fast, didn’t even make it through the services.  It got to me (unfortunately), that overheard, his mistress was told ‘see, he didn’t love her, the flowers are dying’.  Now, I know it was meant to comfort her, but it haunted me big time, very upsetting.  I had desperately been searching for peace with that issue then.
My dream:  there were roses by my bedside and I when I awoke, I think I heard or realized that the flowers were going to have an answer for me.  I leaned in closer, and the flowers started meowing like baby kittens.
What was the meowing about?
I know that he loved me.  It was a long time ago and what with raising two kids I had to focus on them, but the dream/meowing flowers baffled me. 

[Sealynx]

Hi KatG,
That was really an awful thing to do to someone with the flowers! The first thing that comes to mind is that the flowers incident was literally someone being "Catty" in worst sense of the word. Normally when people are said to act in this way it is considered to be beneath one to respond. Actions which stem from this kind of nature are seen as not only in poor taste but the work of someone who isn't worth you time.

I think the message of that dream was to let it go because it was just too ridiculous for a normal person to see the flowers as some intentional message from you. It would only register with those whose opinions were not worth your time, the "catty" ones