Just found this on a site from another friend. It's a reminder of the "red flags" that an abuser may display, which may look innocent to the untrained eye. I think we all know deep down inside that something is wrong, but we may be susceptible to the "untrained eye's" advice.
Signs of an abuser:
Overly nice and too charming in the beginning
Stalks you or calls you constantly. Yeah, this stalker comes popping out of the bushes where you least expect it.
Takes you shopping and buyes clothes, etc., for you too soon after you meet him to please you and win you over
Some abusers expect you always to pay for everything even when they invite you out for a lavish dinner
Abuser gets intensly involved with you too fast and expects sex right away
Wants to move in with you too soon
Wants to share all things including finances too quickly even though he does not bring anything to the table
Abuser wants you to marry him as soon as possible while he is also proposing to other women at the same time
Steals your money or credit cards
Abuser orders movies and sport shows on cable without asking you first. Abuser also makes endless long distance and international calls on your phone and you know nothing about it until the bills arrive sky high!
Emotionally unstable and insecure and blames you for his problems
Abuser is very nervous around you and avoids eye contact because he is cheating or lying to you
Most of the things the abuser tells you about himself is a pile of lies and extreme exaggerations
Abuser demands a great deal of attention because he must to be the most important, even sometimes too needy
Irresponsible person who is really looking for a mom to do it all for him - the true "Gigalo"
Some Abusers hide behind a Ph.D., a Professor, or any other respectable title that society gives them. Don't be
fooled by that mask as they are just as messed up as the rest of them or worse. Sometimes they are thieves, gays,
bigamist and extremely corrupt, manipulative white crime offenders that are still in hiding.
Abuser loves drama and talks about his ex-intimate relationships and how abusively she ripped him apart.
Abuser had an abusive childhood so you might want to dig and ask shortly after meeting them how their childhood was.
Abuser needs to know where you go but you should not ask where he is even if he does not come home at night
Abuser might be a stalker who knows your every move and keeps a constant eye on everything you do
The so-called "I'm a nice guy and you need to be more open with me" date fits 7 of the criteria.
