Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Out of the FOG

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Hopalong:
This probably belongs on the What Helps? thread but it's sooooo good I didn't want anybody to miss it:

http://www.outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors.html

love,
Hops

seastorm:
Hi Hops,

Thanks for the great site. I spent two hours last night pouring over the information on personality disorders. I was struck by how living with someone who has a personality disorder can predict very accurately what will happen to that person. They will be destroyed. Maybe not completely but just enough so that they will probably end up with another personality disordered person because their self esteem has been crushed.

There is so much that is helpful there. The descriptions of behaviour of the personality disordered is so predictable. They do not learn from experience and there is nothing you can do. Except save yourself. I think the terms such as circular arguing, hoovering,gaslighting etc make very clear the strategies that are used to drive a reasonable person to the brink. They also talk about what to do in these situations.  Usually this adds up to leaving quietly and not engaging.

Thanks,

Seastorm

ann3:
Thank you Hops.  Wonderful info.  I really found myself among the numerous descriptions.  Really liked the complex ptsd info.  And, Congrats on decluttering.

Hopalong:
Very sage summary, Seastorm...thank you for this:

Usually this adds up to leaving quietly and not engaging.

Sometimes I just "wordy" it to death, when what you wrote is really--health. That's it.

Hi Ann,
So glad you were helped by this link.
I'm almost afraid to study it in greater depth as it's brutal truth, but it is good to see such clarity written out...

hugs
Hops

SilverLining:
I just stumbled across this great site and was about to post a link, but Hops beat me to it... :D  

I like the descriptions of PD behavior from the POV of  non PD's who have to deal with it.   Histrionic Personality Disorder sure fits my mother..   Lately I've been wondering if my father wasn't driven into his semi-autistic state by dealing with my mother.  Or maybe they each reinforced the negative personality tendencies of the other.   

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