Well, now the holidays can officially start since my NM is pissed at me. Over the years I've noticed that NM is not happy unless she's in a holiday snit about something. Usually her snipping was reserved for my Dad, but since he's gone, it of course, is me. And it all started because I had to reinforce a boundary with her. My brother, to his horror, is the GC. Fortunately he hates this role and since discovering NPD, we have talked at length about this. To my mother he will always be her Baby Boy (he's 45 and has 3 kids) and tries to treat him as such. She also tries to interfere in OUR relationship. When NM wants my brother to do something, like call her more often or come to visit us (he lives out of state) she will use me and put words into my mouth. Now my brother certainly knows that its NM and not me, but it still pissed me off. She too much of a coward around him to actually state what HER feelings and would rather put me in the awkward position. I have told her many times to leave me out of whatever request she wants of Brother. Well today she called and was whining that Brother hasn't made any effort to visit at Christmas. Yes, this is true, but its her issue with him and not mine. She mentioned she was going to call him about it. I told her to again, state what she wanted from him and leave me out of it. I told her my relationship with Brother was fine and if I had issues I would discuss them direcly with him.
She of course had a fit. She of course turned it all around and around. However, this time, thanks to my therapy sessions, I calmly re-stated my boundaries with her, told her she did not have to agree, but that she needed to respect my wishes.
So we shall see.
