Hey guys,
Long time no talk, I hope everyone is doing well? I just had to get my feelings out somehow?! I have been away from my 'N' for nearly a year and today I ran into him by chance. We do not live in the same town anymore and I was driveing a friend of my son's home that lives in the next town over and there he was in a small mom and pop store working as a cashier. I have always wondered how I would handle this incounter if it ever happend. I loved this person very much and he hurt me in more ways then I could ever utter in any one moment in time but here today was the incounter. I always invisioned me feeling the same way as I left him (hurt and alone)but I did not today. I was stopping at this store because I was getting packing box to move my kids into a new house, a house, a real home for them. We have had a very difficult year and this was our reward, a new home! I was trying to get the boxes out of the store and I couldn't see past the check out counter and I went to ask someone if I needed to pay for them but then I heard his voice. I never made eye contact or anything like that but I knew it was him!! I told my daughter that happend to be helping me that we needed to go this other way. When we first met so long ago (7 years) I would always get butterflies in my stomach and my heart would skip a beat but today I am FREE of those feeling because the only feeling I had was I am glad he has a job ( never did much when we were together) and that he was doing ok but no feelings like in the past!! I felt 10 feet tall not getting the old feelings. I was so happy that I was not part of his life and that moving on was the best thing I could have done for me and my kids. I don't feel imprisoned like I did for so many years. We nevered talked or acknowledge each other today but when me and my daughter went past the store to go home he was watching out the window, that just made me sad, not sure why? I said this out loud to my daughter and she said mom you know he really did love you. I said I know but he had a weird way of showing it. I am glad for the experience but I would never want to repeat it and I look forward to the next phase of my life, this one free of butterflies:) Have a great week everyone! kelly
