Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Can I ask another question?
Twoapenny:
Thank you, Bonesie ((((((((((((((Bonesie)))))))))))))) :)
I've got a bit mad on Amazon and ordered all three books suggested here and another called Heal Your Shame by John Bradshaw, which sounded quite good as well, so will be spending a lot of time reading over the next couple of weeks.
Phoenix, I think one problem I have is that I prefer talking face to face to talking on the phone, which we aren't doing at the minute! I'd really like to spend an afternoon with him and talk to him properly, without any interuptions. It sounds like you and your hub have the balance right! I understand what you are saying about that connection because of a shared experience; this guy has had a similar upbringing to me and I think that sort of thing gives you an ability to talk that you can't have with someone who comes from a lovely family and who doesn't really 'get' the whole thing.
It is making me realise how insecure and needy I am, which I have always hid from myself in the past. I've always come across as being very strong and not needing anyone and always convinced myself that is how I am. It's not true! So I am going to try and focus on making myself more confident and feeling better about myself, which I think is easier said than done!
Thank you Persephone, have ordered that book as well - I recognise her name so think I may have read something else by her but can't remember what? Will probably come to me in the middle of the night, as these things do sometimes :)
Thank you everyone :) xx
BonesMS:
((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny))))))))))))))))))))))))
To add my opinion, for what it's worth, John Bradshaw is a GREAT writer! He's also a survivor of a very dysfunctional family so he gets it about the struggles that other survivors have. I first came across him on a PBS program titled: "Bradshaw On: The Family". I have a copy of his book of the same title. I think that started me on my road to healing when I was finally able to start NAMING what was going on. (I didn't know how to verbalize it otherwise.) A few years later, he came to Washington, D.C. and offered a weekend workshop, which I was able to attend through a miracle. (I couldn't afford it on my own.) That brought about more healing! (It's an ongoing process, I know.) During that workshop, when he opened the floor to questions, I had the opportunity to share what NWomb-Donor had been doing to me and my NBrother. (I didn't know about Narcissism at the time.) Mr. Bradshaw commented that there were TWO types of child sexual abuse...OVERT, (which I was PAINFULLY familiar with), and COVERT, (which was what NWomb-Donor was constantly doing to me while trying to convince me I was crazy and retarded). Talk about EYE-OPENING!!!!! :shock: :o WOW!
Bones
Nonameanymore:
Happy reading Tap! x
BonesMS:
BTW, (((((((TwoAPenny))))))))), I have Bradshaw's other books as well including Healing the Shame That Binds You. The Healing the Shame book was required reading for graduate school. Happy reading!!!!
Bones
Twoapenny:
Hi all,
Thanks for all the reading messages, my books are due any day now so will be getting stuck in.
My T really worked me this week! I was shattered by the end of the session it seemed to go on for ever! She feels that my memories, my feelings and my physical experiences are all completely disconnected and that one of the reasons I find it hard to talk about how I feel is because I never did when I was younger so I didn't learn the language of emotions - I don't know what to call stuff (Phoenxi I think you said something similar a little while ago). So she was really pushing me to talk about where in my body I felt things and how I felt at certain times when certain things happened. It was really unpleasant but funnily seems to have unlocked a door and I have been having a really long think about my life, the quality of it and what I want from it (and myself). I think there will be some re-shuffling and re-prioritising going on, but it feels good, if a bit scary.
I am hanging back from 'doing' anything on the man front but we have had some really good chats on the phone and he is coming down the week after next so hopefully we will spend some time together. We have both agreed to be honest about how we feel and if we find after spending some time together the spark is not there as we feel it is at the minute that we will just say that instead of pretending. Feels very odd, I have to say. I can hear my mother mocking me in the background and see her raising her eyebrows about people making such a fuss but I am telling her to MIND HER OWN BUSINESS AND LEAVE ME BE!!! Kind of working but needs more practise. But will keep everyone up to date thank you everybody I don't know what I would do without you! :)
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