Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
misery
teartracks:
Hi Ales,
Antidepressants worsen and add more symptoms when I take them. Strong pain relievers don't work for me either. I asked my family doctor why was it so. He first said, I don't know, then added that it is postulated that some people's brains receptors fail to 'receive' the medications.
I honestly don't think that depression was a strong component or perhaps not at all over the years as I've healed. However, in my early life say 20's, 30's & 40's I experienced bouts of depression, not chronically - thank goodness.
When it comes to supplements, I adjust the dose/serving to 1/2. My system doesn't tolerate standard doses of hardly anything.
Different medications have different effects on different people. For instance as far back as I can remember I had trouble coming to full awakeness on rising. Many people experience 'Sleep Inertia' to some degree - say a few minutes to an hour or two. Mine went on for hours and hours. As I got older, it all got worse to the point where some days I never fully awakened. I guess you could say I was a poorly functioning awake person. I had been prescribed Wellbutrin for depression, found out it made my symptoms (not the sleep symptoms )worse. I still don't know exactly what prompted me to try a half dose of Wellbutrin again, but that half dose changed whatever it was in my brain that wouldn't allow me to wake up completely. I've been taking the half dose for about 8 months and estimate that upwards to 90% of my symptoms of trying to wake up upon rising have been relieved. I'm giving this example to expand on how medications can have profoundly different effects from one person to another. It may be of interest that Wellbutrin, the half dose didn't affect me in other way I can think of.
Don't mean to take your thread off subject, but this seems to fit in somehow.
tt
Hopalong:
Hi Ales,
Several years ago someone on this board raved about a super-food (one of those whole foods, greatly concentrated greens powders things). I took it in smoothies and it helped a LOT! Energy changed, everything.
Then I slacked off (it ain't cheap) -- and just this week started doing this every day again. I feel very very very different than I did a week ago. I swear. Life isn't perfect but it has lifted my mood as well as my energy.
It tastes like eating a field (meaning a mix of grass and dirt, bleahh). But if you add a cup of frozen berries and maybe a handful of kale or whatever and then blend really well, it's like sort of weird tasting sludge...not good but not hideous. I just stand at the sink and relax and drink it down. Always happy to have a cuppa tea after and always glad I did it.
(I bought some called Green Vibrance...good stuff.)
xxoo and a hug
Hops
sKePTiKal:
It's good you picked only 1 thing to do, at a time.
I find if you have a whole list of things, like you listed, and attempt to take them all on at once... well, I find I'm too fragile to put that much MORE stress on myself and then I'm just adding despair and hopelessness to the list, you know?
If you can, I think either attempting to explain to your T that you want to find another way to cope and heal, than simply popping a pill - or, finding another T who will accept that condition and work with you on that goal... should be the next thing on your list. It requires more effort and patience on the part of the T - but if you're also participating, doing your part of the work to the best of your ability - it'll be rewarding for both of you.
Keep us posted, Ales - on how it's going!
Ales2:
Thanks for all the suggestions, they are helpful.
I called my T's office today and canceled my next appointment. He specifically told me not to cancel. He told me to come in even if all we do is argue about taking the anti-d's. Well - OK - No I wont do that because it will keep me preoccupied with being "depressed" for another week, there is no chance I will take them and I don't think he really understands why I am depressed.
Its hormones, not brain chemicals. 20 years of only working and being single when all I ever really wanted was a family of my own. There is an imbalance in my life that can't rectified with pills. He thinks I will do better if I feel better but all that sounds like is that I will get a job and get overwhelmed again in a direction I don't want to go. I told him that but he didn't get it. I feel very much like there is a part of me that has never been developed I have never been in love, never been a mother, never had someone who truly loves me (except my Dad and a fat orange cat I once had and they both died). Wanna know where my depression comes from? From trying for years to find love and coming up empty...
SilverLining:
--- Quote from: Ales2 on June 05, 2011, 05:00:39 PM ---Thanks for all the suggestions, they are helpful.
I called my T's office today and canceled my next appointment. He specifically told me not to cancel. He told me to come in even if all we do is argue about taking the anti-d's. Well - OK - No I wont do that because it will keep me preoccupied with being "depressed" for another week, there is no chance I will take them and I don't think he really understands why I am depressed.
--- End quote ---
Good for you Ales. I noticed that many of your symptoms are also noted side effects of anti-depressants (lethargy, insomnia, weight gain e.t.c..)so the chemical therapy could easily make things worse. It sure is discouraging to so often see a total focus on drugs in the therapy community. I went through my own bout with the chemicals back in the 90's. Just to mention one negative side effect of many, I was gaining about a pound a month as long as I took antidepressants. As soon as I quit my weight fell back into a normal range with little effort.
For me, just any about any change seemed to be a cure, for awhile. I felt like I was cured when I first started taking the ant-depressants, then it wore off. I was cured again with a change to a different drug, then it wore off. I was cured when I quit taking them entirely, then it wore off. Something about the "jolt" to the nervous system temporarily seemed to relieve the depression. But no chemical change has ever been a long term cure. These days I work with diet, exercise, meditation, and so forth and I can't imagine ever again considering anti-depressants.
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