Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Should therapists self-disclose?
mudpuppy:
First saw The Lumberjack song in the 70's.
It's what inspired me to become one. :oops:
mud
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Dr. Richard Grossman on July 14, 2011, 08:01:37 AM ---Hi Mud,
Thanks. Sadly, only 15% of people diagnosed with lung cancer survive 5 years—which is why early detection is so important. If it is caught early (before symptoms appear) approx. 75% survive--my wife was lucky enough to fit into this category. I hope your wife continues to do well…
--- Quote from: mudpuppy on July 13, 2011, 06:29:17 PM ---I've never been through therapy myself but have known a few therapists.
I'm sure, or at least hopeful, that this is merely anecdotal, but the few I have known seem to me to have been considerably more in need of intense therapy themselves rather than dispensing it to others.
Are the disturbed inordinately attracted to the field of psychology the same way, just as an example, smart, handsome, rugged dudes are attracted to the timber industry? Heh.
--- End quote ---
Yup. If I were a smart, handsome, rugged dude, you never would’ve heard from me……...or maybe you would have:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zey8567bcg
Richard
--- End quote ---
YAY, Monty Python!!!! LOL!!!!!
Bones
Guest:
--- Quote from: Dr. Richard Grossman on July 12, 2011, 08:38:08 PM ---One last thought on this topic (from me). If you have experienced “voicelessness”, finding a good therapist in my experience, is very difficult. When people ask me how to do it, I do not have any easy answers. Training/experience is important, smarts are important, and “kind of human being” is important. For me, the third factor is the most difficult to assess quickly—particularly in an era of supposed neutrality. Professional or friend’s recommendations are not enough—one has to make the assessment oneself. And one has to use every bit of information available. In a sense, one has to be excellent at reading people quickly—but often in therapy relationships, just as in non-therapy relationships, we are drawn to what we know. And what we know is/was damaging. So we have to be careful. If a therapist is willing to self-disclose and trust, IMO, that is a positive measure of the third criterion. But clearly, on its own, self-disclosure is not enough. When auditioning therapists, we have to listen to every word the therapist says, and we have to ask ourselves the same question the therapist asks: “Who is this person.” Every therapist will be different and every therapy will be different. Finding the right match is, in my view, critical.
Richard
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Hi Richard, I see this was your last thought on this, but I do have one observation - if a potential client is able to see their own problems clearly enough to be able to ask themselves those questions about a potential therapist.....do they need therapy? By the time we reach that kind of understanding, at least with me, half the battle (if not more) would have been done. It's a bit chicken and egg I guess. Not that I know.
Mud,
--- Quote ---Are the disturbed inordinately attracted to the field of psychology
--- End quote ---
yes! but the more disturbed they are, the more they'll be attracted to psychiatry first. I reckon psychiatrists feel the rest of the world is wrong, so they want to fix the world to fit their view. Psychologists feel they may help themselves as much as their clients/patients so it's more of a mutual undertaking. And that's just my non-informed opinionating based on nothing more than meeting some of the buggers.
On the other hand, we've explored an awful lot of the planet. The really unchartered territory is still inside our heads. What profession could be so interesting? What other profession, if we could really change minds, if we could ....has the ingredients to ...well.....
make a better world.
sunblue:
This is a really valid issue when it comes to therapy. I wholeheartedly agree with most here who suggest, that therapists who share similar experiences with their patients can immeasurably add to demonstrating empathy which is so important to building a trusting therapist-patient relationship.
But for me there is a huge caveat. This sharing of personal experiences must not be selfishly motivated. Like any other interaction or methodology the therapist chooses to employ, sharing his/her personal experiences must done with an eye to serving the patient and their personal growth.
I, too, have had experiences where 1) it would have been immeasurably beneficial to be validated through the sharing of personal experiences from my therapist and 2) where the therapist shared personal experiences, but not effectively. In this latter scenario, it also served the opposite effect. I shared some painful experiences and rather than empathize or validate them, the therapist spent a good amount of time sharing his personal experiences that included the inherent message, "my pain was far greater than yours so you have no right to dwell on your pain because it can't compare with mine." This happened a number of times.
Now, I'm a very empathetic person and so I became invested in the therapist's pain but ultimately, it just added to be mine. Not only did I share personal experiences for which I was not validated but I was also made to feel these experiences were irrelvant in comparison to those of others....including my therapist's. It was "my pain trumps yours."
So, provided the therapist can share painful and personal experiences with the intent of HELPING the patient, it's a very beneficial thing to do. But the therapist has to have a very good handle on his/her own issues before doing so. If their own pain has not bee fully addressed, it becomes difficult to share it with a patient without turning the patient into the therapist.
To all therapists, by all means, share! But be sure the sharing is about helping the patient...not obtaining attention from the patient for your own issues, resolved or not.
I think it's especially important for victims of Narcissists who already have a higher than average level of empathy for others.
BonesMS:
Thanks, Mud and SunBlue! Hear, hear!!!!
Bones
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