Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
The social network phenomenon
sKePTiKal:
OK, here's one that relates to technology. Discuss amongst yourselves; I have some ideas/opinions about this... but I don't know what I ultimately "think" about it...
The whole social network/"friending" phenomenon.
Several social science studies have said that we can only truly maintain real relationships with about 150 people. People come and go, in that group based on time spent together. These are people with whom we share events, feelings and thoughts with... people we do things with. Everything else we post online is "branding" ourselves... creating an image for the external world of "who we are"... and usually so people can "like" us. So, in the pre-technology days... we talked about creating persona masks; now we talk about branding ourselves -- like a product to sell to the world, defining personal success by how many people "like" us..... I guess only the medium has changed and it's still the same thing, right?
I suppose that would explain why I've always been more drawn to discussion boards online than the social-net idle chatter or chat description of me and my life... I much prefer having a one on one discussion and really get to know that person (relationship) versus just making light, witty cocktail (or art student) banter. The latter is fun - in small doses... but it's also "not enough" to sustain me. Empty calories.
But there is something that bothers me about how it easy it is... with profiles, walls, collections of "clues" to how "cool" someone is/isn't... to create & project something that isn't genuine; something we wish we were or that we lie to ourselves about being. Almost as if, we're encouraging people - everyone's doing it! - to create this extra layer of personality - this false persona - and maintain it. As if, we've come full circle back to the social theme of "only appearances matter"....
Hopalong:
I have recoiled from FB, mainly because I think I would be addictively involved, and full of anxiety, and increasingly isolated. I'm already online way too much.
I've had several friends from church tell me I miss out on a lot because I don't do FB and I believe them, so it worries me. I'm isolated already and if I'm missing out on all sorts of casual news (and casual invitations) that go only to those who're checking FB every day...then maybe I need to start.
But I have a sort of resentment about it. I do know how positive and helpful and fun it can be because I hear about it all the time. On the other hand, the entire notion of "friending", "defriending" or "unfriending" people...makes me feel ill. (Yes, people can tell me not to react so literally to the terms and also tell me about their functions and utility and etc.--been there done that.) School was bad enough and cliques persist in adult life, so I just feel better staying away. Plus, I loathe what I learned about Zuckerman, and the FB privacy issues are just overwhelming.
I guess after being Nmom's child, FB seems like a 24/7 boundary exercise and I'd flunk. Reveal too much, risk too much, etc.
My response is more that I'd like to ask the new minister to seriously consider a sermon about the isolation of members who don't do online social networks. Hah. Apparently he's busy on FB too.
:(
Hops
SilverLining:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on July 16, 2011, 10:43:39 AM ---But I have a sort of resentment about it. I do know how positive and helpful and fun it can be because I hear about it all the time. On the other hand, the entire notion of "friending", "defriending" or "unfriending" people...makes me feel ill.
--- End quote ---
Ah so I guess I'm not the only one. I've only looked at FB a couple of times and it made me feel physically ill. Big surprise some of my Nish family members are heavily into this stuff. They may not have a positive reciprocal relationship in the real world, but they can tally up 159 friends on FB.
Eventually a lot of the FB users are going to get selected out of the genepool, when they get run down in traffic or otherwise have some kind of accident while staring at their phones. The whole thing just amazes me...
SilverLining:
--- Quote from: Guest on July 16, 2011, 07:55:47 PM ---SL, as with any new technology, doesn't it depend on how you use it? See:
--- End quote ---
Absolutely Guest. Since my invites to FB have mostly come from Nish relatives and acquaintances, my opinion may be biased up front. But I still tend to be question the ability of people to make positive long term use of any new technology. People in this society jump on any new gizmo with little consideration of the longer term consequences, for themselves or for others.
FB can be used for positive inclusive purposes, but it can also be used for less positive groups.
See for instance:
http://www.newser.com/story/64082/service-members-join-neo-nazi-facebook.html
The same people who are endangering themselves while staring at their phones are endangering me when I dare to walk or bicycle down the street. I've been nearly run over several times by fools concentrating on a phone conversation instead of the road. Then I am encouraged to drive instead of walking, which adds to pollution and road congestion. Any new technology creates all sorts of unforeseen consequences.
A couple of days ago I was standing in line with a bunch of phone people. They all stood there staring at their phones and stroking the display, not saying a word to anyone around them. Two of them nearly got in a fist fight when one lit up a cigarette and the other didn't like it. Seems to me the technology may be contributing to more contentious and unpleasant "real world" interactions.
Guest:
I 'like' :D your post SL and agree. Too tired to write now but this is a great topic.
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