Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
NMom and Punishing God
Hopalong:
Love you back, ((((((((TT))))))))
Hops
river:
tt, I never knew this. what you've been thro makes you a spiritual leader to me. My son flies small airoplanes as it happens.
sun, I can see how yuch!! the behaviour is, thats how I feel when I come accross that. The co-dependent part,- along the way I came accross another explanation for this, theres another disorder, part of which the acting out involved the 'slave/master' relationship. Many partners of Ns are in this kind of dynamic, no rights, no individuality of thier own. Borderline disorder people also have a dynamic that they mustnt separate from thier other, in fact nothing of value exists that involves any kind of separation in that dynamic, so the response would be attack, or a disconnect of the communication with you, hostile. I say this because it made a lot of difference to me whem I understood the relationship between the various disorders and I could see how they perpetuate eachother.
.... and BTW, I love going out for a meal / cinema alone with a book. Havent done so for a long time, but now Im reminded, will do again.
teartracks:
delete
river:
Best resource I know that explains the dynamic, underlying issues is in the Masterson literature, if you can get through the psychoanlitic terms, it really explains things. Thres a book called 'Therapists Guide to the Personality Disorders', and in there there are some diagrams of three main disorders, including the Ns. and the Borderlines.
Its something like: the borderline dynamic is feeling that to not separate, or think for yourself, etc has become equated with being 'good' accepted, and belonging. Its a principle of reward for regression, or for not growing up, being a follower rather than taking the trouble to do thier own thinking, and tackling the subtle, sensitive complications of reality.
It includes that doing something for and from oneself, separation, individuation has become equated with being 'bad', and connected with abandonment. The bad is how they would feel themself, or it is projected onto the other.
My sister and bro in law are borderline type, we had a political argument, its like they are determined to see things the way they see them, bye bye reality, and I kept my mouth shut for a long time whilst bro in law harangued me telling me I should "....have an open mind" . When I didnt answer, but looked at him, he began to feel the separation and next went into how I should spend more time with them and not be alone so much. (Like I felt like spending more time with him when he was carrying on like that!??).
I think that the 3 disorders seem to create eachother in families or groups, rather than there just be an N as a one off. ps, big subject, maybe should have its own post?
teartracks:
delete
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version