Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Today I forgive myself for...

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Nonameanymore:
...having had financial difficulties for a year. This doesn't mean that I am useless. When I think back when I was 8 and had to work to earn my living because NM made me to, at an age where most kids are fully supported by the parents, it's ok that it so happened that I have had these issues with money now at 41. Since I learned how to make a living and stand on my own two feet for so many years, this means I can and will do it again. I forgive myself and I am letting go of these feelings of low self-esteem, insecurity, uselessness, not being good enough. I am enough.


(I don't know if anyone has opened such a thread, but please share what you forgive yourself for whenever  :D )

sKePTiKal:
This thread is a good idea. I'll come back and post something, just as soon as I have some "free" time. I do think it's important to put these things down in "so many words".

Guest:
...black and white thinking.

It's tough to sit with fear, whether justified fear or not. It's sad that so much of it could be justified though.

Guest:
Allowing my self to be (re)traumatised so badly. Maybe it was a blinding succession of moments of clarity. Whatever, it's all good learning. And human.

sKePTiKal:
I forgive myself for thinking that the way my mother treated me, was all my fault. That I deserved it. That I was the biggest, fakest excuse for a human being just this side of Hitler and Jack the Ripper. Fundamentally flawed.

I forgive myself for looking for ways to "just die".

I forgive myself for trying to PROVE I deserved to locked up, shot at, and wiped from the face of the earth... because I was/am such an awful person...

-- for even daring to care about myself enough to defend myself physically, have compassion for myself and my losses/lacks, and try to live a normal, happy well-adjusted life in spite of all the "yuck" I was dealt in my FOO.

I forgive myself for being so damn tediously tiresome and relentlessly determined, repeatedly, writing the same thing over & over, until the words accumulated enough energy for the lightbulb to go on... or someone hit me over the head with the 2x4 of the gift of "enlightenment" - "this is how it is...".

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