Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Bukowski's On Psychiatry

<< < (3/3)

sKePTiKal:
Huh.

I think Hops has hit on something worth taking a long "think" about. The idea that it's OK to be "needy" and vulnerable and beset with emotions and not knowing where to start - or even where it ends... to be cared about, supplied with a witness, a listener, a shoulder to cry on... someone to share the long, inconsolable wail... and that remains to pick up the shattered pieces and help put them back together... and then cheerfully leaves one to "it" - with the understanding that they may someday need the favor back, for themselves and that they'd even go to "round 2", if it's needed.

It "happened to me" - wasn't a conscious, volitional choice - to pay someone to do the above for me. And it was educational in the long run... as I realized all we were doing was the above. What people who are close to and care about each other do. Who KNEW? I didn't....

Au contraire, I'd conned myself into believing the "I don't need anyone", "I'm self-sufficient and can take care of myself"... idea. That hasn't worked very well for me, personally over the long run. It's the yang side of the yin self-harm crap. And it's still something I'm no master of... that balance of autonomy and relationship. Still a student. Not always able to read the "signs" of when I really do want to just be alone and watch clouds... versus "available" to give attention to and be with others. Way too often, I feel it's my purpose in life to do the latter on the other person's schedule... still. When there are all kinds of signals that I need to hibernate for a day or two.

Totally unrelated to anything here... except Boat's experience of connecting with the poem and what it stated... I saw the last half of "Don Juan" - a movie with Marlon Brando and Johnny Depp. So, OK... I just wanted to feast my eyes on Depp for a bit... but I quickly picked up the plot, etc in the movie... and what it was saying about psychiatry. I got wrapped up in it while everyone else fell asleep... all the way to the end. There was a lot of philosophical back & forth in the movie... about who was "crazier"... and why... and a lot of asking the question: what is reality? sanity? Hardly what I would've expected from the cable blurb:

Psychiatrist attempts to help man who believes he is Don Juan. I liked the ending!

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page