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Bukowski's On Psychiatry

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Meh:
@Hops,

Thank you, you always have something warm hearted and thoughtful to say Hops.

I think bits of kindness in all forms really do matter to me in little ways but I don't always realize it or don't want to admit to it. For example when I was in the grocery store I was stretching and stretching to try to reach a top shelf package of mushrooms that were fresher then the ones in front. Then a woman volunteered her "tall gentleman" to get the package for me! And he even made sure that I was satisfyed with the package he grabbed. It's sort of silly but I almost started crying!   

I hope it doesn't sound like I was eliciting sympathy, because I do write a lot about my woes on here! So now I have to justify: Really, feeling "Hated" wasn't my motivation for posting that, I discovered a poet that I liked over a grocery store intercom! Thought it was serendipity that he also wrote the above about therapy and people's problems being so personal or unique, thought that was serendipitous also. I think when I get writing on this board I process more then elsewhere in my life so when things come up I just write them down on here for the sake of my self expression (voicefulness). I'm just having weird times in my life as you are aware and I will just leave at at that. There is always something that is not getting processed and is being suppressed then in just appears.  

Meh:

--- Quote from: PhoenixRising on August 31, 2011, 08:09:32 AM ---
And I can also relate to the feeling of the dysfunction actually being part of me. In exactly the way you described - take the dysF out and I'm erased. In my case, it's a lifelong campaign of almost intentional self-harm/sabotage that would erase "me" if it were gone... or so I "feel" way deep down in my core self. It's like gum on the bottom of my shoe... I may want it off and work to get it off... but dang it... I can still feel that foot sticking to everything with each single step...

But you know what I'm beginning to think? I'm beginning to think that my dysF is actually my "voice" - a real one - it's a form of trying to communicate to other people how awful I feel/felt about myself, my experiences, my FOO... and she's like some fire-brand celtic warrior princess... trying to tell the whole world: THIS SUCKS! IT'S WRONG! HELP ME CHANGE IT!!

So I have been trying to help her. Something big shifted awhile back - before Irene - and I'm still studying it, trying to understand what is different... still can't talk about it anymore specifically than this.

--- End quote ---

Yes, I do feel understood by what you have put down here.

That sounds quite profound to me about the dysfunction having it's own voice as well.

It's weird the way the same subject matter gets mulled over on this site and still some things I feel like I have to sit with them afresh as if it's all new again.

Thank you PR.

Yeah (This sucks, it's wrong, help me change it) I can relate to that. I think you have boiled it down there.

You know, I think I feel a little relieved just reading that phrase (THIS SUCKS! IT'S WRONG! HELP ME CHANGE IT!).



 

Meh:

--- Quote from: Freshwater on August 31, 2011, 12:55:56 PM ---Boat, haven't read / digested the other comments but wanted to say that the above made me laugh. And I'm sure it applies to many psychiatrists. Many are nuts. I've met a couple. They're both nuts. Small sample, but hey.

--- End quote ---

Well I'm glad it made you laugh! It made me subversively cheerful also. I thought it was a rarely expressed perspective.

Meh:
Just wanted to say Thank you to Dr. G for this board since the Bukowski commentary above was anti -psychiatrist in nature didn't want to intend a blanket statement about all people in the profession. 

I am very glad for finding this site and reading everyone's stories on here.

Hopalong:
I'm really, really glad you post here, Boat.

(Didn't occur to me for a nano-second you were "soliciting sympathy" but if I thought you were, I'd gladly give that too....lord knows I seek sympathy, and drink it up like a dry sponge when I find it.)

In a lot of our FOOs and in this unkind culture I think it goes:
--having things rise up and need to be witnessed with compassion is often seen as somehow against some "rule" and that if one needs something (like validation, kindness, simple recognition) one is by definition being "needy", and therefore one should be denied what one needs.

Who's the crazy?

Challenge for those who see it, is to find a way to make a peaceful life within it. Not throw themselves on the culture's pyre...

and maybe writing here is a way of making one's own map, to get to peace.

xo
Hops

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