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What can I do?

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lighter:
Hey Lupe:

I wish you could just ignore the girls, and M and anyone who's behaving badly.

Being social with the director sounds positive.

Having girl, and guy friends, is acceptable. Do you get along with the guys you dance with?

You don't have to have girlfriends at class if they're a complete PITA, ya know?

Maybe make a deal with yourself......

the next 3 times I go to dance class I will ignore the sophomoric behavior of M, and his little toadies.

I will dance like it's the last time I'll get to dance on this earth, and THAT will be my focus.

If I can't focus on the positive, and learn to cope with/ignore the negative, then I'll take a break, and see how I feel about it.

It sounds like your face is pressed up against the glass, and you can't get a good look at what's going on.

Rise above.  Breath.  Remove the emotion.  Look down on your situation from a mile away.

Now..... what advice would you give to someone who's in your situation?

Someone who loves to dance: )

Lighter

lighter:
Lupe?

You OK?

Lupita:
Thank you for asking. Sometimes I think nobody cares.
Guess what, I did not go to tango this weekend thinking that I would have peace. I went to a meditation group and a discussion after the meditation. the Book reading was nice and the meditation also. But during the discussion a woman dedicated to correct every single of my comments and wanted to be on top of me. I had a baad time during the discussion. So, i have a bad time even in a meditation with "good" people. I went to my cultish friends where I get free classes of meditation and they were opset when I said I love chicken. They are opposed to sex and deisres. Desires give you pain. It is true but I am not ready to give up all in my life. I like excitement adne xcitement gives you pain. Also they corrected my dressing and my way of sitting/ So, I have a bad time even with saitns that give up their time for free.

What is wrong with me!!!!!!!!

The good think is that I did not wake up sad, and I did not wake up with fear. I get fear in Tango because of M's friends and M's precense. I should not get fear from such people. But i know that I lost my last job because fo them. M's best friend work in human resources, a woman, where the school depended on. I am in a regular school  now and hope he cannot interfere with that. I do not talk to him, and rejected him for dancing fifteen days ago.

I have 6 week without M. I am starting my 7th week without M. It is like alcoholics and say I have been seven weeks without a drink. I am not alcoholik but I ma loveholic.

So, my point, I am improving. But I want to be independednt from other's people opinions.

Anyway, Lighter, thank you for asking. I wish I could talk to you on the phone and hear a human voice. I need  three D friend. A real freind. I ahve not been able to fijnd a friend in three D.

sKePTiKal:
Hi Lupe -

About eating chicken, sitting "correctly" and wearing the "right" clothes... sigh... you have just encountered spiritual one-ups-manship. It's a form of spiritual pride... and duh! that kind of criticism just isn't helpful to anyone - not even the person spitting it out. If you can ignore it and still continue... you'll still find some benefits in the meditation itself.

About 3-D friends... I think you HAVE one who is always with you. She's YOU. I know that's not what you meant. But, think about it... if you can be friends with yourself first... it'll be easier to attract and be friends with someone else, right? You might need some boundaries even with the bestest of friends... and even with yourself. I've found that can be true, sometimes for me: I need some boundaries about how much I allow myself to criticize and beat up on myself, emotionally. Boundaries aren't seamless stainless steel fences... they have gates and I have the key - I can invite people or keep people out. Boundaries matter for some things and not others... and the things they matter for, change with different situations and different people and even different times in our lives. We're just people - no one gets it right the first time, every time. We trust and get disappointed - even threatened. We fear anything that looks like some awfulness we experienced before and do our best to avoid it. But we keep trying... because there are good people out there. Because we're working at being better people too... we try to help others when we can.... or think we can.

I know it feels kinda like an uphill battle... and sometimes you feel like you'll slide back down 15 steps for each one you take forward and up. But it's OK. It's all learning and progress (even the sliding back...). If you are isolated and don't share some of your feelings, sure you're gonna feel like no one cares. But now, that's not really true either is it? We care, right? Have you ever posted and never got a single reply?

It's OK Lupe. It's gonna be all right. You're doing real good!

lighter:
I sent you a message, Lupita.

I'm so proud of you for adding the meditation class.

I agree with Amber..... you'll get something out of it, if you continue.

You can also take what you like from it, and practice at home or the beach (which sounds really good too.)

The journey continues: )

Lighter

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