Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
new phase
sKePTiKal:
OK - LOL!!!!!
NOT a good idea to drastically change hair color while reading a book about conscious/unconscious self theories and how that translates into personality/identity!! (If one tends to overthink things...or has an over-busy imagination!)
I like the color itself. It's PRETTY. I just don't know "if it's me" or not yet. Or if I'm any kind of reliable judge of what's "me" or not.
Edit: the picture doesn't do the color justice; it's kinda dull copper-penny with lots of lighter highlights. Not a color my hair has EVER been, quite, before.
Comments?
Guest:
Like it. :D Looks pretty natural in the pic too, although I guess it looks darker in real light? The highlights are good. Now I want some highlights!
As for hair colour being me....well I can't see my own hair, so colour isn't that important unless it makes my regular clothes colours look horrendous and hurtful to onlookers. :P
I recently saw a young woman with two-colour hair. She had a white blonde heavy straight fringe, but had dyed the hair on either side bright orange (not hair auburn, but orange) and had curled it. I couldn't stop looking at her. It didn't look good or bad, just very affected, like a clown/circus wig. And she was dressed fairly ordinarily. She was a white European but non-native English-speaker so I'm thinking just maybe there was a cultural 'thing' I wasn't getting. Certainly made me look though.
Remind me PR, your hair was white before? If yes, I LOVE it!
And that was a complete post about hair. 8)
sKePTiKal:
Yes, FW... my hair was pretty much white before. For some bizarre reason, the back of my head was "hanging on" to more original color than the rest of my head (sort of like inside... LOL!)
For the life of me, I can't figure what the "big deal" about this is, for me... because I consciously just wanted to change the color... because I can, why not?, it's just hair... and yes, you're absolutely right! Hair is a great example something so "outside" that I can't see it (it's not that long yet)... so I'm really not aware of it most of the time. The last time I thought I even cared about "girly" stuff... was right before/right after Twiggy's Day when the Sh_t hit the fan. The before was normal pre-teen fascination with clothes, makeup, growing into female potential... body changes and all that. The after was more OCD obsession, self-consciousness, fear-based - freaked out.
Of course, that's what this thread is really about: a new level or approach of working on that part of me - the one who's been having a hissy-fit for 40 years - weaving "her" back into "me" enough so that there is cooperation more of the time, than there is unconscious resistance, self-harm and sabotage. This book I'm reading about the concept of Adaptive Unconscious seems to be saying that my goal here ain't gonna happen; that we're not built that way... that some of my basic premises and ideas are wrong. Could be! I haven't finished the book yet. And there are almost no descriptions or explanations of this theory in action for people who suffered abuse or trauma... those kinds of life-events where things go wrong with the self, the emotions/mind, the unconscious-conscious relationship. I'm gonna have to think about that some, after I finish the book.
So the changes I'm currently making that seem unimportant, irrelevant and "silly" to my conscious self, are meant to satisfy some of needs & wants of this inner, supposedly unconscious self. Which I'm not supposed to be aware of... much less able to "know" what it's wants & needs are, according to this author. Maybe one of the positive, unintended benefits (silver lining) of what I've survived and the way I tried to work it through - making sense of what happened, chronology, fitting it all together... and accepting as me the parts that were banished for so long... maybe, that gives me a way of "knowing", of accessing that unconscious self. I still don't know yet if that's an accurate description, if it's simply a self-soothing visualization (= sheer fantasy), or if it's sort of an unformed, undesigned motivational goal that I'm not able to consciously control.
I mean - why should the techniques of therapy be limited to only working through the negative things in life?? Why not apply those ideas to figuring out the fun, the happy, the fulfilling, the big existential or spiritual questions, for ourselves too?? If I'd had a "normal" emotional attachment/education I'd already know those things about myself... in reality, I don't have clue one - it's as if I grew up in a parallel universe, really, where "fun" and "happy" didn't exist - and at 55, I've gotta work FAST to remediate that particular oversight in my self-education!! (No, I have no idea why I feel that way... or if I'm still just as NUTZ as I was before... )
Hopalong:
I think it's a very pretty color...kind of like bourbon and water, or diluted peach, or firelight at the edges.
Nice!
The real pleasure is seeing your face.
Hops
teartracks:
Amber, that's you! 8) I'm with Hops, the best part is seeing your face. The hair doesn't look colored. It looks very natural.
Thanks for the pic.
tt
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