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Mothering Again, con't.

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lighter:
Hops:

Are you OK?

Lighter

Hopalong:
Hi guys, thanks for checking.

Just got back from her place, trying to help her pack and store belongings as eviction was about to start.
She's in terrible shape. Panic attacks, unable to focus, severe mood swings, completely out of money and no work (she was down to using old towels in the litter box when I got there). There was literally NO oil in her car...the mechanic didn't know how she'd continued to drive it without destroying the engine, but we got to the JiffyLube before the last drops, and it's okay. (I had been very worried about that for months, just having a gut sense she was not checking the level, ever...kept reminding and reminding. She's just too far gone to take care of herself.)

Her place is a packrat mess of piles of papers and junk mixed together, and she is completely unable to focus and make decisions. We packed a lot, stored a lot, and she has to leave a lot behind. While I was there her stepmom (for whom she's been caregiving a lot, while she was nearby in hospice) died. D has been through many traumas with her in the last 6 months but it also reunited her with her brothers (one "half" and one "step") whom she hadn't seen in theh 7 years since her father died and they more or less dumped her, so it was desperately important to her. She flung herself into that situation and let her own life completely collapse.

D has to get in the car within a few hours and make a 2-3-day trip with her animals in the car and her mind just about broken. (I don't know if I shared here that a few months ago she told me she has been diagosed bipolar. Now, I understand a lot of behavior I didn't before.) She is horrified by the confrontations with her angry landlord and despite my help and the help of 3 friends who came by several times, she is not coping and will be leaving in utter exhaustion and very poor mental shape.

It's not going well and I don't know how it will end. I am wondering about hospitalization for her but meanwhile, just praying she makes it here in one piece by Saturday, for the funeral. After a week or two here, just to rest, she plans (though "plans" is an optimistic term) to go back to her college town where good friends have offered to let her "couch surf" for a few months). She has some possible house-sitting options during the holidays.

I would say more, offer more step by step plans, methods, interventions, approaches, solutions...but we are winging it. If she can get through this and get out of S. Florida she will at least be near enough to help in an emergency. She is determined to go back there, it's still her dream place. But for now, she needs to get up here or to her college town, which is 3 hours away.

This is the 48-hour period she needs to function enough to drive and survive, so please send her light!

Hops

lighter:
::sending d and animals lots of white light/ hope for the drive::

I'm so glad you checked in, Hops.

lighter

Hopalong:
Thank you, Lighter.

Her paralysis and deterioration are frightening and heartbreaking.

(I kept it together until a bait-and-switch at the public storage place, long story, when I behaved in a way I never, literally never, have in my life--exploding in tears, berating a "district manager" and then a "senior district manager" over the phone and sobbing until I was purple. Long story short, I felt forced into the position of telling her she could only keep so much--because the cost was doubling and I can't afford this--and she's already having to give up most of what she owns.)

I really appreciate all the light anyone can send her.

love,
Hops

sKePTiKal:
Oh Hops. Of COURSE, I'm going to send as much focus energy and physical energy to your D, to be able to arrive safely. And I'm including YOU, too - rest, solace, let tomorrow be soon enough to think energy, too. Poor dears... you've really been through it.

Time later on, to talk, think, etc. Take care of you, so you can take care of her (well, ok... as much as she'll let you) later.

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