Dear Kitten,
This is one of the most frustrating … banging the head against the wall …. feeling(s) … I have had that infuriated me prior to NC, and ultimately drove me to NC, and still infuriates me even though I went NC.
I WANTED/NEEDED to be heard…
Essence of voicelessness, eh?
What I wanted/needed to hear…“You are right … I was wrong to do what I did.”
It will never happen. And if it did happen, I wouldn’t trust it anyway …
If this happened, it would only occur because they wanted something from me.
I don’t know if your situation is the same…
I never, in their mind, will be “right” – for whatever reason in their mind, they need to be right, and in their mind, they need me to be “wrong.”
No grey areas where we might have both been wrong or right.
But, they don’t have the capacity to hear our needs … they are overwhelmed by what they need and can’t hear anything else.
Can’t fight it, all I can do is walk away.
To counter it, I take a look around at where I am in the here and now, and focus on the peace that has come from NC rather than the frustration I have had in the past at not being heard.
It isn’t always easy, but I remind myself – that was the past – I am no longer there - thank god!
Peace