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Guess I'm going to have to give up . . . going NC . . . I think

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Redhead Erin:
The best thing that could happen is that she would die tomorrow.  Then I would have her house and her trust fund. I would be able to afford therapy for any residual guilt issues.

In this case, the golden eggs really are inside the goose.  I wish I could get to them sooner.

sKePTiKal:
uhhhh... you're absolutely SURE about that?

N's are famous for changing wills and trusts for almost no reason and not breathing a word to anyone. I'm just saying, I wouldn't be counting on it... I'd still be busting my butt to be free and clear of what makes me crazy... and to claim what I know without a doubt, was mine. All by myself, without outside help.

I really needed that "exercise" for ME and then later, when the unexpected windfall hit... I was to keep my head about me a lot better. (It was still a lot of work, let me tell you!! Even when you have "people" to take care of a lot of the details for you...)

Redhead Erin:
Im not really sure about anything.  I know she isn't the Mrs.- Got-Rocks she pretends to be, but I think she is functioning under the delusion that I am still the loving daughter she wants me to be.   As far as I can tell, that delusion includes keeping me in her will. 

I will get an answer about my mortgage restructuring the first week in November.  If the answer is what it should be ( a new payment of about $500 less per month) I will be able to walk away from her.  If not, I will have to hire a layer and start all over again.  As long as I am saddled with this mess, it helps to have her on my side.

Nonameanymore:
Hi again Erin,

I felt that way about NM and money too although she made sure that whatever I did get before I went NC, I had to repay with my blood (long story and irrelevant). I understand that her money is tied to your way of living and your son's future but maybe you can and I am sure will,l find a way not to depend on her in the future so you can go NC.
Two years ago and while we were on year 14th of being NC, 'somehow' she found out I was back in Greece and broke and notified me that she deposited 5000 euros in my account. I didn't take the money because I would have been signing a life sentence (this doesn't mean that this is what you should do) but somehow as time passed, I found out that there were ways I can live without needing her money. I am sure you do need the money but maybe it's because she convinced you that you cannot survive without her money? Through gaslighting? Manipulation?

Hope it all goes well
Rania

Redhead Erin:
Nope.  Just basic math.  We are in a horrible situation with our mortgage (partially but not entirely our fault) and there just is not enough cash to go around.  There is a program now that is supposed to  help homeowners change the terms of their mortgage so that the payments are more manageable.  I know I qualify for this, and the payments are supposed to be $500-$600 less a month than we are paying now.  So I am just holding on until that comes through.

In the meantime, I am gathering my strength and getting ready to call it quits and NC, or at least LC.  I went NC once before, for about 3 years, but it was easier b/c I was living in Germany at the time. 

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