HUH. The book I've been reading on the Adaptive Unconscious... was tantalizing... so I went ahead and read another one by the same author. He's Dr. Tim Wilson, a prof at UVa... and a social psychologist. After two books describing experimental design in tedious detail, I started skimming. I did find just the "clues" I was looking for, I *think*... even though it wasn't at all what I expected to find in these books.
Wilson's a big believer in personal narratives as an explanation of the "self"... and he's suggesting that even our unconscious self has a narrative... that changes over a lifespan, with experience, etc - even though our earliest attachments may influence some fundamental patterns. I've been assuming that those early attachment styles are engraved so deeply in our brains... that they continue throughout life, a permanent "life sentence" even. Sometimes, they do - but there is data that suggests that this can also change; that our adult attachment styles may be different than those earliest years. The question here is why, how and can it be done intentionally; consciously?
The social science perspective of explaining why people do some of the things they do and how behavior can be changed - and how the person themselves can change in response to their environments and interactions... and how the simple writing of our narratives or "stories" in specific ways can help people change has helped explain a few of my "unresolved" questions about what I've been through... and why I'm still struggling with a few things. Especially, when comparing the social science "assumptions" and "theories" of the 1960s against what's been learned since then.
Of course, new questions have also been raised and I'm still digesting these ideas... and connecting the dots. One of the things I really like about reading "serious" books on the Kindle, is that I can bookmark passages and add my own notes - and then see these "pulled" bits of text all together. Kinda like a bunch of post-it notes stuck to a big section of wall... so that I can begin to see how all these little things that jumped out at me - connect and fit together. I think I have enough of these, to start creating an answer to my own inner "why did I do this?" and start working on the "how to change it".
I'll stop being cryptic and get specific... once I've pondered and worked out just what I think I'm seeing.