Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
The "Mama Never Told Me" Thread
nolongeraslave:
What makes someone mature? :? I had a few men on another online forum tell me I'm immature and how I need to grow up and suck it up.
I shouldn't have gone back on those lousy forums, but I did.
Meh:
--- Quote from: nolongeraslave on November 26, 2011, 04:16:21 PM ---What makes someone mature? :? I had a few men on another online forum tell me I'm immature and how I need to grow up and suck it up.
I shouldn't have gone back on those lousy forums, but I did.
--- End quote ---
Probably would be good to put this question into context by giving a specific example of what you said that the men were responding to when they made that statement. But you know, it's the internet there are a whole lot of people out there just because someone says something doesnt make it true right?
nolongeraslave:
--- Quote from: Boat that Rocks on November 27, 2011, 01:57:02 AM ---
--- Quote from: nolongeraslave on November 26, 2011, 04:16:21 PM ---What makes someone mature? :? I had a few men on another online forum tell me I'm immature and how I need to grow up and suck it up.
I shouldn't have gone back on those lousy forums, but I did.
--- End quote ---
Probably would be good to put this question into context by giving a specific example of what you said that the men were responding to when they made that statement. But you know, it's the internet there are a whole lot of people out there just because someone says something doesnt make it true right?
--- End quote ---
They thought it was immature of me to get offended at a comment that a friend made. She made a comment about my weight while knowing about my trauma history and body image issues. I was contemplating over whether a real friend would do this, and they said I was immature.
Most women I've talked to agree that weight is usually off-limits and nobody's business to comment.
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: nolongeraslave on November 27, 2011, 03:44:14 AM ---
--- Quote from: Boat that Rocks on November 27, 2011, 01:57:02 AM ---
--- Quote from: nolongeraslave on November 26, 2011, 04:16:21 PM ---What makes someone mature? :? I had a few men on another online forum tell me I'm immature and how I need to grow up and suck it up.
I shouldn't have gone back on those lousy forums, but I did.
--- End quote ---
Probably would be good to put this question into context by giving a specific example of what you said that the men were responding to when they made that statement. But you know, it's the internet there are a whole lot of people out there just because someone says something doesnt make it true right?
--- End quote ---
They thought it was immature of me to get offended at a comment that a friend made. She made a comment about my weight while knowing about my trauma history and body image issues. I was contemplating over whether a real friend would do this, and they said I was immature.
Most women I've talked to agree that weight is usually off-limits and nobody's business to comment.
--- End quote ---
For someone to accuse you of "being immature" after such an OFFENSIVE comment was made by a so-called "friend", (and I'm using the term "friend" loosely), to me it feels like an N attempt at gas-lighting. I tend to look at N-patterns now. They say/do something that is offensive/abusive, to you, mentally/physically/emotionally/psychologically/etc. then attempt to flip the blame on you because you DARED to set a boundary! Does my concept make sense?
Bones
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: nolongeraslave on November 27, 2011, 10:15:52 AM ---Bones, my feelings exactly. There's no use obviously arguing with people online, but these men came off as having no clear concept of boundaries. What's telling about a person is when they say "Suck it up and act like an adult."
Sorry buddy, but sucking it up is why people get health problems, pent-up anger, relationship problems, insomnia, etc. Expressing your feelings, including your negative experiences,
In any case, my friend on fb e-mailed me back and said I looked fine. I explained to her why I was obsessing over her comment. I don't think she meant anything bad. People can be impulsive with their statements. I've done it before too.
--- End quote ---
I guess what would be more telling is how your "friend" on fb would respond to your latest comment. Let's wait and see.......
Bones
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