Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Thanksgiving?
JustKathy:
--- Quote ---I HATE THE HOLIDAYS!
--- End quote ---
Yes!!!! So do I Bones.
First of all, I need to say hello to everyone (familiar faces and new ones). I haven't been here in many months. Marital problems on top of a long distance move has kept me away, but that dreaded time of year is upon us, and I need to get back to posting here to help save my sanity during the upcoming months. What should be the happiest time of the year is a living hell for children of N's.
As for Thanksgiving, I'm taking a very bold step this year. When we moved last month we unplugged the phone and told absolutely no one in the family that we had moved. I basically fled. I've decided to go NC with the entire dysfunctional FOO. When my father calls me on Thanksgiving with his usual worship of my brother (the GC) and the same tired story about how my mother is dying of cancer and has only "four weeks to live," well, he's going to get a disconnected number. Anyone who is Internet savvy can easily Google me and find my new address, but I don't know if they'll put the effort into it. It will be interesting to see what happens when NM mails her annual box of Christmas insult gifts, because it won't be deliverable at the address they have. I'm hoping to have a completely peaceful holiday with NO contact from any of them. We'll see how it goes.
And for those of you who remember me, my mother is now entering her fourth year of terminal cancer and "four weeks to live." Apparently the family is getting sick of her drama, because I'm seeing her posting on message boards around the Net, telling anyone who will listen that she's dying of cancer. I hate to say this, but I wish she were. Still convinced that she's faking it though.
JustKathy:
--- Quote ---The image of happy family at the holidays is - I believe - simply a marketing image
--- End quote ---
Totally agree with that assessment. I know a LOT of people who dread family get-togethers, being forced to fly cross country in bad weather only to be insulted by their in-laws, bicker over the seating arrangements, argue over the dinner menu. IMO the perfectly wonderful traditional Christmas only exists on Hallmark cards and television commercials. Certainly, those of us with Ns in our lives experience a special kind of torment, but I think it's still a stressful time for "normal" people as well.
teartracks:
In my life holidays are nonevents. They are days just like other days. If I end up doing something memorable on 'holidays', great. If I stay at home and do nothing, great. When my children were young and when my grandchildren were young we did Christmas and Thanksgiving.
On Thanksgiving, as a community outreach (no evangelizing or proselytizing, just a great meal), my church turns the sanctuary/gymnasium into a restaurant, linen tablecloths and everything where they serve a full course turkey dinner free to anyone who wishes to come. I've invited all my family members (and anyone they wish to bring) to gather there where we can enjoy a wonderful meal together. They may come. They may not. Either way, it's no insult to me because after all we are a twenty first century family with all the 'trimmings' like four grandparents, two mom's/dads along with some who live far away. We have our share of dysfunction to boot.
It's projected that just shy of 2000 people will partake. I plan on being a server/waitress except when I eat with whatever family shows up. That makes Thanksgiving a memorable event for me this year :).
Happy 'holidays' to all.
tt
sKePTiKal:
AH! tt reminded me...
this year, we've been invited to the Tarheel family's (hubs' relatives) annual Christmas get-together. The price of entry is food for their local assistance group. No presents - just a chance to talk, eat & raise a donation. I rather like the idea of re-purposing these family get-togethers, for a good cause. And it also seems a good way to transform all the bad associations of the FOO version of holidays to something way better.
Kathy! Long time no see! (though I've wondered how you were doing...) I'll keep reading.
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: JustKathy on November 21, 2011, 10:44:01 AM ---
--- Quote ---I HATE THE HOLIDAYS!
--- End quote ---
Yes!!!! So do I Bones.
First of all, I need to say hello to everyone (familiar faces and new ones). I haven't been here in many months. Marital problems on top of a long distance move has kept me away, but that dreaded time of year is upon us, and I need to get back to posting here to help save my sanity during the upcoming months. What should be the happiest time of the year is a living hell for children of N's.
As for Thanksgiving, I'm taking a very bold step this year. When we moved last month we unplugged the phone and told absolutely no one in the family that we had moved. I basically fled. I've decided to go NC with the entire dysfunctional FOO. When my father calls me on Thanksgiving with his usual worship of my brother (the GC) and the same tired story about how my mother is dying of cancer and has only "four weeks to live," well, he's going to get a disconnected number. Anyone who is Internet savvy can easily Google me and find my new address, but I don't know if they'll put the effort into it. It will be interesting to see what happens when NM mails her annual box of Christmas insult gifts, because it won't be deliverable at the address they have. I'm hoping to have a completely peaceful holiday with NO contact from any of them. We'll see how it goes.
And for those of you who remember me, my mother is now entering her fourth year of terminal cancer and "four weeks to live." Apparently the family is getting sick of her drama, because I'm seeing her posting on message boards around the Net, telling anyone who will listen that she's dying of cancer. I hate to say this, but I wish she were. Still convinced that she's faking it though.
--- End quote ---
Hi, Kathy, and thanks!
Good for you!!!
I don't blame you!!!
Bones
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