Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Father with cancer and narcissistic mother
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: finding peace on November 30, 2011, 12:20:27 AM ---PR – excellent advice!
We called in hospice, and it was a 3rd party to whom my mother could not play her games.
The hospice person was wonderful.
I can’t even remotely express how grateful I was to have her there.
She was there 24/7 if we needed her.
And we needed her.
Love,
Peace
--- End quote ---
(((((((((((((((Peace)))))))))))))))))))))
Lucky:
We are a one and a half / one and three quarters of an hour drive away. How to dealt with that? My husband and I have very busy lives but ofcourse I want to stay on top of things.
Hopalong:
I think you figure out the visit interval that works for you.
I remember when my father was dying I left one city at around 3pm each Friday (got permission from an employer who had his values in), arrived here around 730, stayed up all night with him (Hospice didn't come on weekends), caught a nap the next day, stayed up all the next night, returned to the city late Sunday...and kept that up for six months. Worked nearly the equivalent of 2 FT jobs during the week for the whole time.
It was GRUELING. But I have never regretted one moment of it.
(And my mother did not interfere with my farewell care of him. She was sidelined by an osteoporotic fracture.)
You might find that a visit once a month where you are able to really concentrate on being present with him, will do the same.
Hops
finding peace:
Hi Licky,
I lived about 45 min - 1 hour away, and made myself ill trying to keep up and be there for him.
To quote hopsy:
--- Quote ---It was GRUELING. But I have never regretted one moment of it.
--- End quote ---
It is hard. I think the best thing might be to try and find a balance as best you can without making yourself ill or neglecting your needs - if you can.
In our case hospice did come on the weekends, but he was very ill at that point.
Much love to you,
Peace
PS - Bones, thank you so much for the hugs ((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: finding peace on December 04, 2011, 08:24:53 PM ---Hi Licky,
I lived about 45 min - 1 hour away, and made myself ill trying to keep up and be there for him.
To quote hopsy:
--- Quote ---It was GRUELING. But I have never regretted one moment of it.
--- End quote ---
It is hard. I think the best thing might be to try and find a balance as best you can without making yourself ill or neglecting your needs - if you can.
In our case hospice did come on the weekends, but he was very ill at that point.
Much love to you,
Peace
PS - Bones, thank you so much for the hugs ((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))
--- End quote ---
You're welcome, ((((((((((((((((((Peace)))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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