Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

my daughter's dilemma

<< < (7/10) > >>

sKePTiKal:
Fingers crossed, charging up the white light machine... and I second Lighter's "good job", Hops. Time for you to have something else to think about, too. 'Coz worrying won't help her and it'll wear you down. Sometimes being distracted is a GOOD thing.

btw: tt & I have nominated you our first choice in the fictional "Rent a Mommy" business I'm fantasizing about...

teartracks:





Dear Hops,

You're amazing.  Still praying. 

tt

teartracks:



Okay, PR, as long as it's fictional and a fantasy, I'll play along  :wink:

tt

BonesMS:
(((((((((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

sea storm:
Dearest Hops,

I haven't been following this site for quite awhile so only found out about your stressful situation just now. My heart goes out to you. You are so powerless to change her behaviour no matter how much knowledge and goodwill that you have. What comes through very loud and clear is how much empathy and love you have for your child. The other thing that I hear is that she is projecting her contempt and anger at herself on to you and the weight of that is crippling. As it would be for anyone.

I have a beloved sister who is BiPolar and she downloads her rage on to me. I have to remember when it is her illness and when she is responsible for herself. I am not that good at knowing when she is co opted by her illness. It is a lot like loving an alcoholic. I mean wanting them to get better and be helpful but knowing that they can't get better until I stop trying to rescue. This is gut wrenching, soul searching, searing pain.  What I learned after my daughter disowned me and I thought it would kill me is that NO ONE is allowed to shatter my world and destroy my will to live. That included my daughter who was the light of my life. 
I have to be important to myself so that no one can mess with that. I have to let my daughter know that so she feels safe in this world.

I have kept on loving my daughter and kept in touch but I don't rise to the bait anymore. This is so hard to do. She has lost the power to hurt me so deeply. In the end it makes for a better relationship. If I sound like a know it all I am sorry for that. I go to Al anon and it helps me to remember to keep myself healthy and detach. I give a lot over to God and my higher power.

I wish for you healing and detachment from this terrible trial.  You are such a good soul and have a generous heart. I don't know why God gives you this to learn from. It is beyond me. I think there are probably a lot of people who love you.

My heart goes out to you.

Sea storm

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page