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Revenge Fantasies?

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sKePTiKal:
I like it, Erin!  ;)

But I wonder if an N even can "put themselves in someone else's shoes"? This seems to some bio-emotional-neural mutation in Ns. They simply don't accept the premise that anything exists - or has feelings - outside of themselves. It's as if they don't have the imagination to "pretend" this, at all... or that pretending it "hurts" them - like water on the wicked witch of the west.

JustKathy:

--- Quote ---But I wonder if an N even can "put themselves in someone else's shoes"?
--- End quote ---

My NM would have no problem putting herself in someone else's shoes, as long as that person was important, wealthy, famous .... someone who would be a "peer." She could easily put herself in Queen Elizabeth's shoes, but never in the shoes a common, working class person, and NEVER in the shoes of a victim. Maybe it would be possible with hypnosis, otherwise, I can't see it happening.

debkor:
I think N's are aways in *everyone else's shoes* even if they are not ...They Are!   They seem to be everyone else's life but never thier own.  The revenge I had thought I woud have felt good about was N being *knocked out of thier shoes* and it has been done but all I saw was an empty person (rather sad).  The best revenge (for an N) is for You to be Happy and let the N and Nish things they do ...Go.   Sometimes it means letting the person go. 

My children grew up without a dad. Well Bio dad.  They have a step.   I let everything go when they were still babies.  I do believe (me) letting go helped them to have compassion for thier father (athough they choose not to see him) they have no anger or hurt feelings.  It just was, ya know?  He was just a sick guy but did the best he could.....Even if it was not good enough.
That is all he was capable of. 

Revenge ......He lost his chidren because of his own poor choices and my choice.....and now thier choice.   That's sad.

Kinda like he revenged himself.   

He never knew his children.  And BOY ARE THEY GREAT KIDDO'S.........

Deb

JustKathy:

--- Quote ---The best revenge (for an N) is for You to be Happy and let the N and Nish things they do ...Go.
--- End quote ---

YES! Absolutely. I know my NM loses sleep over me being NC, and knowing that I'm happily living my life without her in it. She has no idea that we've suffered some unemployment and financial difficulties because I don't share that anywhere, at least not anywhere that's public. If she's stalking me online (which I know she is), all of my blog entries, twitter activity, and anything she would be able to find is 100% positive. I make a point of never posting anything negative in a public forum, so for all she knows, I have a great job, an expensive house, and am living a better life than she is, and she is powerless to change that or hurt me in any way. Her head must be exploding.

sKePTiKal:

--- Quote --- They seem to be everyone else's life but never thier own.
--- End quote ---

I gotta admit you've got a point, Deb. This does seem to be the case, doesn't it? But, I know that it's also true that most of them are incapable of seeing other people as feeling people; there is general tendency to objectify other people -- interacting with them like dolls, with them putting words into the dolls mouths, stimulating reactions, then blaming the "doll" for x, y, & z. The result is the other person simply not feeling "real" to the N, except as a doll - plaything - who only "matters" when they're reinforcing N- delusions of ego, grandeur, and power.

You're also right, that it's a losing proposition for most of us to understand all the hows & whys of how this works. It's much better for us in the long run, to simply let it go. Now, if we could just break that "Let it Go" concept down into a step by step process, and package it -- so that it could be one size fits all, and still allow room to customize parts of it... now THAT would be a scientific, humanitarian break-through!

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