Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
update - NC broken but will be maintained
Twoapenny:
Ales, this guy sounds like a conman. Is there a board or some kind of panel you can report him to?
No one is untreatable or unfixable. Some people are too smart to be conned (you) and some people don't like being found out (him). It sounds to me like he hasn't encouraged you because he can get more money out of you by keeping you 'broken'. Why is your mum being asked to pay for your therapy? Major control issues there. Your life - your situation. Take time out to re-group, collect your thoughts. Keep away from your mum and this man. I am so angry for you. How dare he do this.
This is not your fault. Take baby steps, focus on what you can work with yourself for now - eat well, swim, walk, read, take care of yourself. You are stronger than these people and better than them, and this situation. Keep your mum out of the loop. I know you have business dealings with her but limit it to only what is strictly necessary and strictly business. Look for ways of getting out of this financial situation with her. I'm horrified at what they've done to you.
sKePTiKal:
It is possible - frustrating, but possible - to be in business with FOO members. My bro doesn't engage in or participate in general business decisions, except on his own terms & in his own time (P-A), yet expects me to be available to him any/all times he's ready to turn his attention to the matter that's languished for months, or more often, dumping his personal problems on me. He hasn't pushed me over the edge into total sibling melt-down yet - but it's come really close a couple of times.
So close, that my financial team designed a way and nailed down all the details of how I could either get out of the dealings - or force him out. Ultimately, I decided to simply leave be for the time being. But I haven't forgotten my "escape hatch" -- my "when all else fails plan". I survive this arrangement with a minimum of stress by maintaining strong boundaries. Sometimes, I miss something or screw up and leave myself vulnerable... then I just sigh, lay out all the new facts, and try to pick a path through to the result I prefer (and know exactly what/how much I will compromise). It's just a mistake; it's not fatal.
It is not an uncommon situation for members of dysfunctional families to be in business together. It might even be a way to enable & sustain the dysfunction, for all I know. When the emotional dysfunction threatens the business function... then it's time to look at your options. I chose to do my homework ahead of time, and know exactly what options I might choose from, because I feel it's inevitable that the day will come when the business is threatened by the interpersonal dysfunction.
Even though part of me still keeps the door ajar for a miracle to happen, via hope.
Ales2:
I dread going but have an appointment with the T today. This was made weeks ago while all the other stuff was happening and I kept it on my calendar. I feel very much done like there is no more progress to be made here. We never got to the discussion of personal responsibility, so thats what I am expecting. We'll see.
Ales2:
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
I was doing fine till the last five minutes of the session. Seems that NMom wants to check in with him to be sure I will be OK. I WILL NEVER BE OK! Its that simple.
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
Twoapenny:
Ales, this all sounds very unprofessional, I think you need to stop using this therapist asap.
PS You will be okay - but it sounds like you need your mum and this T out of your life at this point for that to happen xx
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