Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Redhead Erin on July 19, 2012, 01:10:24 AM

Title: Finally something good
Post by: Redhead Erin on July 19, 2012, 01:10:24 AM: Well, after 6 months of work,

[size=400pt]
MY MORTGAGE GOT RESTRUCTURED!!!!!
[/size][/color]

And.... Hub's dad left us a decent amount of money. And his house isn't even sold yet.

This means we can

* Pay off our debt
* pay off our car
* live on just one paycheck if need be (No more stress if I have a bad night or a bad week or a bad season!)
* Afford for me to go back to school (AND EVENTUALLY QUIT DANCING! )
* Travel a little
* pay off the house early
* Save money

*
NEVER HAVE TO WORRY AGAIN
[/size][/color]

And the bestest part----i will never, ever EVER have to go see my mother or do something for her because I need money.

EVER.
Title: Re: Finally something good
Post by: Hopalong on July 19, 2012, 06:54:13 AM: CONGRATS to you and your family, Erin! Wow, that is so wonderful.

Hope you'll tolerate one heartfelt piece of advice that can totally change/rearrange/illuminate the entire rest of your life...

You might consider taking $99 of this windfall and you and Hubs together, take this class:
http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/home/ictid/classpage/ (http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/home/ictid/classpage/):

Best $99 I ever spent in my entiiiiiiiiiiiire life.

xo
Hops
Title: Re: Finally something good
Post by: sKePTiKal on July 19, 2012, 10:28:38 AM: Erin - that's GREAT!

But one piece of advice, from someone who's still working on her Dad's estate (we're going on 5 years now...).
Estate taxes will take a huge chunk. So will lawyers, CPAs, etc... in the form of fees.

Hops' advice is excellent. The absolute FIRST thing you need to do, is make a budget - how much do you need to live on (after dealing with all your debt)? How will you get this money - investments, trust payouts, ???? when? is it monthly, bi-annually, annually? Will you keep working? (That decision isn't just about money...)

You and hubs MUST begin the process of setting up your own will, powers of attorney (including health), address insurance issues, etc as soon as you feel like you have a really sense of how this change is REALLY going to impact you. This is to protect each other and the kiddos.

I think hubs & I needed about 2 years to finally get all the details straight in our minds. We had so many, many things to talk about and decide together. Like - how did we want our lifestyle to change? did we want it to change? We'd seen other folks go a bit nutz and pretend to be someone they weren't... after some financial windfall. We are still - all these years later - who we were before. We decided that just as fast as the money came to us - it could also go away. And we needed to be OK with each other - and possibly facing that - together. I still eat peanut butter bread... spaghetti... hotdogs... I only shop for clothes, when I need to... and seasonally, for things I might need/like. Yes, we moved to another area, bought a big house (for our kids to come visit & play), furnished it... those were things I'd always dreamed about. Hubs has his "toys", too. But for the most part - we live on a fixed income, that we've planned out to cover even those crazy impulse purchases from time to time. Seriously - I still walk through Kmart or Walmart - and decide the price is too high on something and not buy it. I CAN - I just don't want to enough to justify the purchase.

For MONTHS, maybe even the whole first year - and even now, sometimes still - I get a moment of cognitive dissonance about how our finances changed. A reality shift of warp-speed magnitude. We didn't make any major decisions - except to pay down debt - during the time we were waiting for that to settle... and to get real, confirmed numbers in their right bookkeeping columns.

That's the grounding advice I've got for you. Now that that's out of the way:

Party like a rock-star girl!! Enjoy this moment... really, really enjoy it.

You'll think of all kinds of things that will be different. Lots of things won't be... but you'll find all that out, later. After paying down all your debt, getting wise financial advice, and setting up your own legal docs... see where you are financially -- and then deliberately set out to treat yourself to one thing you've always wanted. That's a really, interesting process and you might be surprised what you ultimately end up with.
Title: Re: Finally something good
Post by: Redhead Erin on July 19, 2012, 05:36:48 PM: Right now we are not doing anything major. We bought a bunch of stuff we have needed for a while but have been putting off (A run for the chickens, tires for the car). And I have taken a sabbatical from one of my jobs, but I will likely go back in the fall.

This week I am taking the week off because my son is getting ready to show his 4-H projects at the county fair and I am helping him. All winter I did pretty much nothing but work and sleep, so all the stuff I should have helped him with got put off until the very last minute.

My big lifestyle change was I moved to a new gym which is closer to me and committed to a year of personal training and diet counseling. This is actually a career move (I tell myself). Not only am I still dancing at age 43, but my next career will be as a personal trainer. I want to experience training as a client before I start applying for jobs. Oh yeah, I bought the personal trainer books so I can study for the certification exam.
Title: Re: Finally something good
Post by: sKePTiKal on July 20, 2012, 06:40:56 AM: Well, don't forget the enjoyment part too! You are allowed, you know.
Title: Re: Finally something good
Post by: Redhead Erin on July 20, 2012, 10:55:07 AM: Im not sure where the last paragraph went, but I had added that it was a big huge luxury just to be able to not have to work all the time, and to have a little cash in our pockets to enjoy life. Tuesday we took a break from our 4-H projects and went to the pool. It cost $16.50 for the three of us, but we had it and we could enjoy the time without worrying about what else we might have bought with that same money (A quarter tank of gas? Coffee, cereal, and milk at Aldi?).

Being part-time and not having to be on the work-sleep-work-sleep treadmill is a huge luxury, too. We bought this house in part for the lovely front porch and the view of the neighbor's fields. I love sitting on the porch in the early evening, but because of work, I have been out of the house almost every night at that time. Now I am home 4 evenings a week, and we can sit out there and enjoy the evenings. Yesterday Ted brought home some beer and we sat on the porch swing and watched the chickens being chickens and talked about the upcoming county and state fairs in which my kid is going to compete and what has to be done. It was relaxing and nice.

I can take my coffee out on the porch in the morning and read a magazine. It feels like vacation.

For so long, being broke and staggering under this horrible crushing mortgage had ruled my life. I was still paying for mistakes I made in the 1990's, the last time I had good credit. Even worse, I am still paying career-wise for not following my dreams as a teenager and going into some horse-related trade, like veterinary assisting or farrierey (putting the shoes on). Instead, I listened to my mother's career advice (a career housewife, and not a very good one--I should have considered the source!) which was just as full of conflicting messages as anything else she ever told me.

But i digress. As I was saying, for so long I have been laboring under the results of my poor credit decisions and poor career decisions that I have not had time to really enjoy anything. Whenever I have tried to live the life I really want, I have been unable to keep up the pace and then collapsed under the weight of my obligations.

I woke up this morning and for some reason, the first thing in my mind was, I can be a 4-H leader now. I have wanted to do that since I got out of 4-H myself.

I am truly looking forward to being an active participant in my son's 4-H, Scouts, and home school group. I am excited about taking the personal trainer certification. I am really really jazzed about being able to be home with my kid (and awake) for homeschool and to be able to afford field trips this year. We can afford school supplies. I want to get an incubator and raise some chicks. If it goes well, I might be able to sell some of them.

We are planning to go camping next month after all the fairs are over, to visit bro-whatever and his family in Ohio, and to go to our time share for our anniversary in October. None of these are luxury trips, in fact, except for the gas and a few extras, they won't cost much at all (I cook at the time share and camping, so no restaurant meals!) The big difference is, we can take the time off! We can now pay the mortgage out of 2 paychecks, there are no more car payments, and the insurance is all paid up ahead of time.

Believe me, I am going to enjoy life!
Title: Re: Finally something good
Post by: sKePTiKal on July 20, 2012, 01:35:29 PM: :D
Title: Re: Finally something good
Post by: KayZee on July 21, 2012, 02:54:15 PM: Hooray! Congratulations Erin! This makes me so happy. Celebrate and luxuriate! lots of love, Kay x
Title: Re: Finally something good
Post by: JustKathy on July 22, 2012, 03:51:51 PM: Congratulations Erin! I'm so happy for you. :D
Title: Re: Finally something good
Post by: Redhead Erin on July 22, 2012, 11:56:20 PM: Thanks, guys! Life is g :Dood.
Title: Re: Finally something good
Post by: Hopalong on July 23, 2012, 07:43:42 AM: And I still think you would love http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/classfinder/#center=37.835098,-78.281197 (http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/classfinder/#center=37.835098,-78.281197). Quite apart from the theology, which is not mentioned much, and which is not my own and did not matter. It was the simple structure of it and the radical facing of it, that has changed things for me.

But I never, ever, repeat myself ~~repeat myself~~ ~~repeat myself~~ :lol:

(((((Erin))))

Hops
Title: Re: Finally something good
Post by: Redhead Erin on July 23, 2012, 11:26:00 AM: Thanks Hops! I will definitely give that a second look. I did see there was a workshop in a nearby town.