Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Dr. Richard Grossman on July 24, 2015, 09:01:06 AM
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Narcissistic parenting: When you compete through your child
By Kelly Wallace, CNN
Updated 8:34 AM ET, Fri July 24, 2015
http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/24/health/health-narcissistic-parenting-children-impact/
Great to see this issue getting more attention...
Richard
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Thanks for sharing this Dr. G. The author makes an editorial statement that narcissistic parenting is like alcoholism in that these parents have to hit bottom. I can't say I agree. I am not sure there is any bottom for these narcissists. The common denominator seems to be that any attempt at "parental love" is conditional leading to long-term negative consequences for the child. Narcissists who become parents necessarily act in extreme ways toward their children resulting in many of the issues with voicelessness, lack of self-esteem and inability to form healthy relationships which we see in young adults today.
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When I read this I can't help to think that it would be better for a kid's parents to want them to win than for the parents to be totally indifferent. At least the first scenario is a sign of interest. It would be sad though if the relationship between the parent and child revolved the child's achievements and nothing else.
I'm currently watching a documentary about biblical history and how there is hard evidence that parents would sacrifice their children to god believing that the sacrifice would somehow spare the parents and the rest of the family from misfortune like death and sickness. Not all relationships in life are the same that is for darn sure.
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Best documentary on a parent who forced his kid into sports...its about Todd Marinovich
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UJYJRO_3-0&list=PLMIyRfvoE8HwroTCLHhev158lbdZNQ_eJ
Parents that encourage and coach a willing child is one thing... but pushing and expecting is another thing entirely. Check out what happens to him in this story. Very sad.
I always laugh with the issues with my Mother because she always wanted us to get trophies and accomplish things but sadly was entirely critical and an obstacle ....the narcissism with her is the mixed message of expectation without supporting what we did or encouraging us. She didnt want our little heads to get to big because she needed to be in control at all times.
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mixed message of expectation without supporting what we did or encouraging us
This sounds familiar
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Dont know if there is anything you can actually do, but I think looking her up and down and giving her a confused expression or rolling your eyes with disapproval can be helpful. She might think you are annoying or its none of your business, or she may decide to rethink her behavior.
I dont know what you can say, since its mostly intuition that tells you what she is doing is wrong.
Id love a better answer than my thoughts here... any one else with suggestions?