Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Hopalong on August 03, 2016, 12:23:39 PM
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Hi folks,
Just wanted to tell y'all what I'm up to. Pretty briefly, or I'll use it as yet another excuse not to keep going.
With a lot of help from a $-savvy friend, I finally have a clear picture of exactly where I am. Without boring anyone (and sensitive to the reality of how profoundly fortunate I am compared to some friends here, which often makes me cringe), here it is.
I have four months to find a new FT job or then I will have exhausted my reserve and have to begin eating through my small pot of retirement savings. This will be bad. My house isn't paid for, though if I hadn't lost my previous job/s, I would've been within striking distance. And, without a new FT position, I will face four or likely more years of a lot of uncertainty.
I have real fear of inadequate resources for old age. It haunts me and disturbs my sleep.
So, I am trying. But not hard enough.
When I am afraid, my ADD gets much worse and my desire to escape the process rises. That leads to time wasted and a spiral of anxiety.
I am doing what I can but very fearful that time will run out and so will my savings. There is no way around this.
In the back of my mind, constantly, is that I'm 66 and in a community where loads and loads of educated young people with a solid decade of good experience (as opposed to my three decades) are competing for every posting I'm applying to.
It's different. My confidence has been shaken.
So that's where I am and why I haven't been writing here at any length lately.
Love to everybody,
Hops
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I understand the worry about not having enough to be comfortable in the later years, Hopsie. It worries me and I'm a way off yet so it's a perfectly valid concern!
Is there anything else you could do if need be? In terms of work, I mean, I'm just wondering if there are any self employed things that would generate a bit of cash, even if it just brought you a bit more time? Pet sitting, dog walking, baby sitting, a hobby that might make a bit? Space for a lodger, anything else you can sell, any outgoing that can be trimmed a little? Clutching at straws a bit, I know, it just seems so unfair that you have this great weight to carry when there have been so many other weights to carry as well.
I wish I had a wand. If anyone deserves a bit of an easy ride now it's you. I am keeping everything crossed that something comes up soon xxxxx
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I hear your fear. You've titled this post perfectly. You are in a difficult town but you are a gift. You will get that break. You deserve it Hops.
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Thank you Tupp, ((((Grits)))) and GS...so much.
Tupp, I will do things like that after retirement but my energy now is limited, so it needs to go toward finding FT work. I could burn through a lot of energy finding and managing small fixe$ otherwise. I've got some ideas for PT, irregular work but mainly need a regular salary. If I can't find a FT job then there'll be no choice but to go from gig to gig, etc. I've squeezed expenses as tightly as I can. Thanks for the suggestions though!
GS, I'm grateful. And miss hearing from you. Glad to see you've posted!
xo all
Hops
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Thank you Tupp, ((((Grits)))) and GS...so much.
Tupp, I will do things like that after retirement but my energy now is limited, so it needs to go toward finding FT work. I could burn through a lot of energy finding and managing small fixe$ otherwise. I've got some ideas for PT, irregular work but mainly need a regular salary. If I can't find a FT job then there'll be no choice but to go from gig to gig, etc. I've squeezed expenses as tightly as I can. Thanks for the suggestions though!
GS, I'm grateful. And miss hearing from you. Glad to see you've posted!
xo all
Hops
You are a smart cookie, Hops, so it makes sense that you've already looked at all the options and I think most people's situations require a full time salary to make life easier. Am sending bucket loads of love and good vibes your way in the hope that something suitable comes up for you xxx
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Ack, I thought I responded to your OP, Hops.
I wrote that you're smart to utilize resources around you...... people with sound advice, and information to help resolve the situation.
If I had to choose between a newbie grad and someone with years of experience in my industry......
I'd choose the person who could teach me things. Not the person I had to train.
Honestly, if feels like you'll land on your feet, Hops.
::Sending you energy, luck, and prayers::
Lighter
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Hang in there Hops. You're doing what you have to for you.
Someone once said, courage is being afraid, and doing it anyway. Well, this time around it would be scarier if you WEREN'T still trying.
The energy thing is something that's really real. But see if there aren't some places where you have energy leaks into emotional pools... (for wont of a better image/word)... where you use up your energy treading water & just dealing with the emotions.
Maybe talking out those emotions would help?
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Thanks for reminding me how nice air-dried laundry is, Grits! I love that. I have space for an outside rack or line, and could certainly do indoor drying too.
I do make my own laundry detergent! That's been my favorite frugality so far. Partly because it's ridiculously easy. AND sustainable, because you use something like a 3-gal. plastic kitty litter container (got one from a cat-lady friend) over and over...no repeated plastic awful jugs being trucked to you across the country and even better, no lugging them home from a store. It costs about 3 cents a load and works perfectly. Only and very minor downside is that without the (toxic) surfactants, it will gradually create a soap ring at the top of the washer. Solution is simple--couple times a year I simply scrub that off lightly with baking soda. Which takes about 15 seconds. I mean, sheesh.
To make 3 gallons (a gel) takes less than 10 minutes. Here's the recipe:
--Grate one bar of soap (like Ivory or a cheap deodorant soap) into 4 c. simmering water, stir until dissolved
--Dump 1 gal. hot tap water into your container
--Mix the soap solution into the hot water
--Add 2 more gal. hot tap water (I never carry the whole thing, just take pitchers of the hot water around to the laundry area and pour it in there)
--Add 1 1/2 cups washing soda (Arm & Hammer, in detergent aisle, usually bottom shelf--NOT baking soda)
--Add 1 cup borax powder (same aisle)
--Stir them in with a long spoon
--Put on lid and leave overnight to gel
Use one cup per load.
I agree that frugality is fun, I love the simple ways we can cut back not only on $ but on consumerism generally.
Hugs,
Hops
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I get that kind of nostalgia, Grits...
My father's family was very well-off but my mother's was dirt-poor.
She grew up in a family of 10 on the plains during the Dust Bowl and Depression, so even though after she married her life was upper-middle middle class and secure, she retained a lot of household habits that conveyed intuitive sustainability. She didn't know about the third "R" (recycling) but she did Reduce (not much of a consumer) and did Re-use.
Some of the "antiques" I like best are the old, simple things. My nightstand is my maternal grandmother's sewing machine stool (lift off the top to see the spool pegs), stuff like that. My kitchen bookshelf was built by my grandfather...it has a protective glass door. Because books were precious and on the plains, dust was everywhere.
Things like cotton cloths used to clean, and reused and reused (rather than discarded sponges)...clothing repaired rather than discarded, her darning egg and sewing kit...and the beautiful clothing she made.
These are good memories of Nmom. Without the "N", just being a woman who brought a legacy of value from her resourceful family's dignity.
:)
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I get that kind of nostalgia, Grits...
My father's family was very well-off but my mother's was dirt-poor.
She grew up in a family of 10 on the plains during the Dust Bowl and Depression, so even though after she married her life was upper-middle middle class and secure, she retained a lot of household habits that conveyed intuitive sustainability. She didn't know about the third "R" (recycling) but she did Reduce (not much of a consumer) and did Re-use.
Some of the "antiques" I like best are the old, simple things. My nightstand is my maternal grandmother's sewing machine stool (lift off the top to see the spool pegs), stuff like that. My kitchen bookshelf was built by my grandfather...it has a protective glass door. Because books were precious and on the plains, dust was everywhere.
Things like cotton cloths used to clean, and reused and reused (rather than discarded sponges)...clothing repaired rather than discarded, her darning egg and sewing kit...and the beautiful clothing she made.
These are good memories of Nmom. Without the "N", just being a woman who brought a legacy of value from her resourceful family's dignity.
:)
It's nice that there are some good memories in there, Hops. My mum was very thrifty and again, it came from growing up in a time when you repaired things instead of buying new ones and things were made to last, not to be replaced in two years' time. We've become a very throw away society and it's not a good thing, in my opinion.
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Hops, question:
Do you find a sense of peace & purpose in living those sustainable life choices? Like, you're helping to keep that knowledge alive to pass on? It's an odd question, I know, in the face of the topic at hand here.
Even some of the smallest habits in this category, I sometimes feel are in danger of extinction. Things I totally take for granted that are just "common sense"... but people had simply never known/seen before. Like washing out a ziploc bag to re-use it for another purpose? People tell me they've never heard of that before!! :shock:
Like you, my connection(s) to that self-reliant lifestyle are older & well-established these days. Doesn't mean we can't learn new tricks, though. I have been most impressed to see a new wave - an echo maybe - of this philosophy and lifestyle in my D's generation. Through that, I've learned that Baltimore actively supports Urban Farming. Her fiancee's sister raises chickens, for instance. Within city limits. (She doesn't EAT chickens, mind you... but it's a step in the right direction.) And they're experimenting and coming up with some new ideas.
One of the big strategic weakenesses of trying to herd people into large urban areas is that the source of food is always so far away. Doesn't take a whole lot to shake the food security of a system that's over-centralized -- whether through GMOs, crop failure, drought... or a transportation issue. Baltimore's history is filled with ethnic neighborhoods, and one of the prime characteristics of them, were that the backyards of those row-houses were often extensive gardens.
But I am surprised at how little people know about growing plants. Even after reading all the "Dummies" books... they still come back and ask the most basic questions that I've realized can only be learned by watching someone who ALREADY knows, this is how much of this fertilizer is applied... or what that bug is and how to keep it from ruining your taters... even how much to water. Then imagine the shock, when they're successful beyond their wildest dreams and have bushels of tomatoes to either dry or can. Canning.... oh, the thousands of questions involved in that.
The simple lifestyle without so many "modern" or "post-modern" complications seems attractive to me these days. Maybe there's a path there, in that for you too - given your background; your professional career. (It's the old is new again thing, I guess.)
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Yes, I find peace in the necessities of frugality sometimes. A comfort in rejecting mindless consuming. From plastic bags to "new" when it's not needed. (I wash them too and carry tote bags in the car...but too often forget to take them inside a store.)
There's a whale-load of difference between trendy "Voluntary Simplicity" practiced by people who are economically secure, however, and those for whom it's not an epiphany or based on sustainability consciousness...but the grinding only way they can get by.
When I buy my clothes at Goodwill a couple of times a year (because long ago I read about the crappy construction, and the overseas sweatshops, and the planned obsolescence, and rejected "seasons" and "updated fashion" for classics)...I always see families with children, and old folks, who are not downwardly-mobile degree-holders like me who will still survive however modestly because I have insurance, but people who have basic needs that just aren't being met. I shop there because the manufacturing and shipping and exploiting damage is already done. I'm simply keeping some garments out of the waste stream for a while longer.
But it sure does feel better than "new" -- I find most modern stores kind of obscene. Malls strike me as the slow death of culture. The glazed expressions and overstimulation.
"Stuff" fills that hole in the spirit for many, temporarily. Meaningful work, a decent paycheck, and realizable hopes for your kids, are harder to come by for too many these days.
Because I have a deep, sunny double lot, self-sufficient urban gardening (even chickens) are completely possible in the space. I'm frustrated that I've let myself become so physically deconditioned from years of sedentary work, though. I'm not sure my years of dreaming about a sustainable urban home can be realized with this body, unless I find the will to become fit again.
I've been so profoundly distracted (Nmother-care decade, ADD, and too many large losses) for so many years that I lost a lot of the passion I had had for building that sort of life. I'm keeping things very simple but not as a project--just as it's all I can manage.
love
Hops
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Well, I'm right there with ya, Hops - I don't disagree or differ in any of that description you wrote about yourself. But the part I want to respond is the last bit:
Because I have a deep, sunny double lot, self-sufficient urban gardening (even chickens) are completely possible in the space. I'm frustrated that I've let myself become so physically deconditioned from years of sedentary work, though. I'm not sure my years of dreaming about a sustainable urban home can be realized with this body, unless I find the will to become fit again.
I've been so profoundly distracted (Nmother-care decade, ADD, and too many large losses) for so many years that I lost a lot of the passion I had had for building that sort of life. I'm keeping things very simple but not as a project--just as it's all I can manage.
I've had to face this one myself and TRY to wrap my head around it. It's still a work in progress, I guess. Motivations, the keys to unlocking the desire and will to change this, and the stick-to-it-iveness to really change it are so different for each of us. My problem is the desire part of the equation - the wanting - and that lifelong programming to always put myself last on the "fulfillment" list. It's way more complicated than giving myself permission! LOL.
The mind-body connection is more important and more mysterious than I think I appreciated -- even when I was really active with tai chi. Maybe it's more to do with consciousness (or the soul/spirit) than it appears "rational" to the western mindset. I'm still learning and un-learning a lot about that whole giant area of life.
But at this point in my own situation, inertia is the main problem. Physics; and nothing fancy about it either. There is a certain amount of energy required to lift the quantity of mass of my ass, out of my chair and go DO some things... that will better my situation in a way that helps me begin to get enough traction... to build up momentum.
This is where I can borrow emotional energy, to activate the body & and focus the mind too. I still get mad at myself for "not feeling like doing that"... but these days it's tempered with a little kindness and patience. But there's a new energy: fear at work now too.
My fear is based on watching how quickly Mike deteriorated - and his spirit detached from his body - simply because he sat down and didn't feel motivated in any way shape or form, to get up and do something. For himself. I knew - because I'd felt it; experienced it - that if I just TRIED to do what I could, on day 1... and stopped before I completely wiped my physical energy out... and then do it again the next day... and the next... I would get stronger, the work would be easier, and I would have more stamina and resilience. It wouldn't take me a week to recover from 1 days work.
I'm afraid of boring myself to death, too. The terminal ennui of nihilism, maybe. (This seems fashionable in some circles these days again; last time I saw it was during the 70s "stagflation" days.) But that's a digression from the other side of this bush I'm talking my way too. LOL.
It dawned on me this week - coming back from another "rest & play period" of a couple days - that I actually feel better when I do some of those things on the list I keep, of the things that are necessary to getting me where I've said I want to go. So that, in a broad general way... my time, mental focus and spirt (intention) are all focused right now on giving my Self, what I want. If I'm not doing at least something on that "list"... I lose momentum, don't have any confidence that I CAN do what I think I want to do... and just generally don't give a rat's either. I can do one thing -- and STILL rest up the old bod, let the mind come to a still point, and get enough sleep to refresh myself.
I still don't "want much", materially... so that list involves a lot of purging right now. But, something I discovered camping is that when it physically requires my whole day, to provide food and shelter for myself... a primitive level of "simple and plain" living... everything about my mood lightens, tension drops to such a low level it almost feels bad, because it's so un-experienced previously, and the thought of returning to "civilization" feels awful and wrong. Like it's just the wrong way to live.
Well, THAT was a ramble, now wasn't it? LOL. Sometimes, I think I do that, just to see what turns up, when I turn over rocks. Sure hope some of those observations have something that fits with your journey too.
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OK, re-reading that... there is a thread of meaning in there that makes sense in response to that last bit of your post. But it's just not coherent enough for words... LOL. I hope you like puzzles, Hops. LOL.
Maybe if I look at it tomorrow, I'll figure out what I was trying to say.
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I loved these posts of yours, Amber (and yours too, GS, Tupp and Lighter--thank you all for the arm-around-shoulders feeling you always give me). I'm sorry it took me so long to acknowledge.
Been a Titantic battle to hoist "the mass of my ass" up to get in motion again lately. :lol: I had repair guys in my house off and on for 2+ weeks and the process of letting them in (and out, and in, and out) with the dog going berserk Every Bloody Time, and getting a massive nasty cold at the same time, so I was feverish in the bed (with dog, when she wasn't being a hysterical sentinel) for days, coughing my lungs out while the repair dudes clunked back and forth..
Oy. Two weeks I could've skipped. But as of this morning and the last coat of paint on the re-replaced window trim, water-damaged wall gutted to studs and rebuilt...new siding on and well blended...and really, decent and courteous treatment from all crews for the most part...anyway, as of this morning THAT'S over. Wheeeeee-ewww.
And the hopeful news is...I have two possibities for earning some money. Neither is solid yet, but I had a second interview today with a local business owner who wants to expand online and told me plainly that I'm so knowledgeable that she really wants to work with me. Remains to be seen whether she'll offer FT, and how soon, and for how much. Fingers, toes, and all remaining hairs are crossed.
Second possibility is I've been offered a modest ghost-writing contract for a small (100 page) book on a new procedure...it awaits the fancy doc signing the contract with the publisher. Publisher thinks the guy will do it, but he's been ambivalent before, so he (Pub.) is waiting to see. If the doc "author" signs on, I've got the gig. (Did another similar book for that publisher --with three doc-"authors" about a decade ago, went well.) I'd enjoy doing it again but in honesty would prefer that the local job (if FT) came through, as I'm sick of divided mental attention and writing my guts out for somebody else's interests rather than my own. The consumer-medical book would be very very hard work, the local business stimulating and even somewhat fun, but not draining in the same way as the lonesome and tedious medical stuff.
Please send some vibes, anybody...this is a pretty key juncture for me.
Love,
Hops
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Mountains of vibes sent, Hopsie, I am rooting for you and keeping everything crossed that things start to fall into place for you now :) xx
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Is this fancy doc attractive and single??????? 8) Could be more fun than you anticipate; you never know!
Sorry, I've been playing matchmaker a lot for everyone EXCEPT me. I dunno where that comes from, just that I can imagine the interesting ways people can interact and work together leading to something.... more committed. (You would be right suspecting there's subliminal aspect to this; ain't got time for that right now in my life.)
I'm noticing something else in my own process that you might think about too; maybe it could work the same way for you? Anyhoo, when I start to wind myself up too tight about how in the world I'm going to get anything done by myself, or if this thing will happen when it needs to... or if I can even remember everything I have going on all at once... I just ask for a little help from the universe and trust that it will be OK. And then, I can finally relax and take of myself before I become roadkill from the exhaustion. I refuse to ask which one of these is actually "at work" in what turns out to be JUST FINE in the end. I don't need to know. ;)
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Thanks for the reminder to let go and ask for help from the universe, PR, I have found that when I am sane enough to allow that simplicity into my mind, it DOES help. It releases something, helps me ease back into my body and ... for a little while at least ... focus in the present. I desperately need to do more of that, more often. (And, like you, not to worry about the source. I wrote a "sermon" years ago about realizing that what I really want is not to have faith, but to "do" faith. Once I switched from the passive "having" to the active choice of "doing", faith made more sense to me. Though I don't think that train of thought could be considered religious, it was just about embracing the act of trusting. I had spent so many years fixated on what the OBJECT of trust would be, that I had forgotten about the verb. The experience of it.
Thanks for reminding me about that. It really was a key moment in defining my own spirituality, and I've drifted far far off in the last scary year.
Dunno if eye-doc is single but alas, I'll be interviewing him by phone, not in person. If it happens. Good idea though--I should go appeal to the vanity of rich docs and offer to write them all books to keep in their waiting rooms and pass out at their country clubs!
:)
Hops
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Well, why NOT?
They are absolutely "stuck" (and full of their special knowledge) so they need help too. Putting it into written words.
Hops: ministering to the verbally constipated "experts" of the world, by coaxing the words out onto paper. That's one way to make sure knowledge continues on and isn't "lost" to the future. Organizing all those words into composted form, to create intellectually nutritious tomes of brain-expansion for others.
:lol:
I'm only being half silly, here. And it's even a good opportunity to subtly introduce your green ideas, to them, too. Like Johnny Appleseed... and maybe the medical profession can become a little more open to the idea of "healing" the "whole person" instead of simply doing medical magic tricks with science. The concept transfers and applies across disciplines, to my way of thinking... and has been mainstreamed in a lot of other areas of life.
After all, (maybe it's just me), but I think children of N's find some soul redemption in service to others.
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Hops:
Maybe your career path is to write for "the verbally constipated."
Maybe that's the future?
You're very talented.
The vc have needs.
::nods::
Lighter
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Oh Lordy Lord, you guys crack me up.
I do enjoy service, helping researchers conceive of what they do in language that reaches the people they can help (or profit from, as the motive may be).
But a sense of mission about turning medicine green? Don't have the energy, honestly. You remind me though about one thing that needs SO much work for someone/org who does...the amount of non-biodegradable waste, especially plastics, in hospitals, is ghastly. Probably near-equates in some cities to what all the individual citizens throw out collectively.
But I want to write my own fiction and poetry before I die. All-a this other subject matter pushes it back and these days, I feel as though the pushing-back will eat up my time on earth.
I'm just feeling weary from a long cold that turned into something bronchial and I am unfit and weak and sometimes to a scary point. This will not stand and yet I have trouble finding the will to be active enough to get fit again. It's a perverse and self-destructive reaction to being/living/feeling alone.
If I do get employed, that will force some structure into my life again which is needed. I am just now tidying up after a very extravagant pity party and it's a mess. :)
love,
Hops
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Hops:
So sorry to hear you're struggling with bronchial stuff. Do you need help from a doc to get over that typically? Xylitol nose spray, taken during a cold, usually helps me avoid a secondary infection..... maybe you could try it now? Not sure, but I'm sorry you're having trouble shaking chest crud right now.
If you don't mind my asking, what kind of fiction do you want to write?
Lighter
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Thanks, Lighter. I'm slowly recovering.
Actually took a wobbly 10-minute walk yesterday, alert the media.
And I'm forcing myself to church in a few minutes.
Coughing less.
Docs don't really help much. Mucinex tablets do, loads of water. Actifed for a couple days.
It just hits like this every year or so. One year I wouldn't be surprised if that was that.
But then again, a pneumonia (when I'm 99) would be fine with me.
My lack of will around exercise is scary, it becomes a self-reinforcing stillness, and not the good kind. Fall temps will make it easier (but I've had an unused exercise bike next to my sofa all the while).
I don't know how to cure it but I am going to try again.
love
Hops
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Are you feeling any better Hops? Do I have to remind you that chicken soup and vitamin C still work? ;) I sure have to remind myself... although I don't have any problem with the chicken soup side of that equation. I have this daily mental craving for chicken noodle soup and like some monks, find it restorative to not have to think about what I'm having for lunch that day... and to each day find the goodness in it. (WEIRD, ain't it?)
The weather is turning to less humid air and more seasonal temperatures. That should help you feel a little more comfortable getting back to some physical activity.
The other stuff... well, we all process that differently. And for all the self-help stuff and well-meaning advice that we all feel obligated to share... I do think that sometimes a long period of inactivity, nothingness, and just letting those feelings come out from whatever rocks they're hiding under until they make themselves a nuisance... well, sometimes, that's exactly what's needed. Good luck trying to convince people who care for you that this is OK, it's what you need, and it won't pass until you're good & ready to do something else.
Our emotional selves live in a different space-time-dimension altogether. It seldom plays nice with the physical, intellectual and workaday world and all the so-called "bad habits" - as defined within that dimension - simply don't apply or have any meaning at all in the emotional dimension.
Amber's pet-rock theory of the day. LOL.
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Hi Lighter,
Forgot to answer your novel question. I have Chapter One done (for a long long time) and the rest of the plot outlined in my head, but life derailed the writing. I don't know that it's a type or genre of fiction, but I'll say it's funny, poignant, and about child abuse. How those go together is that it's kind of an aftermath book, a woman who heals two children by, errrr, rescuing (kidnapping, if you wanna get nitpicky) them. And then there's a road trip, some fantasist stuff, a shambling burned-out detective. And a happy ending. I love the story and everyone I've narrated the bones of it to has too. I will be fulfilled by writing it, and it should take a couple of years. What I have grieved about is the way I let it fall behind.
My T said I have a mildish almost-PTSD thing going on, about jobs/bosses/money. So I need to get all the way through that to a more stable space, before I can carve out the time/focus to do my Real Writing. But yes, it's really what I want.
I think in many cases writers are absolutely exploding with ideas and stories but just lack the support system or safety or structure to enable it. It's A Room of One's Own (Va. Woolf) in ways--while realizing that the room must be paid for or it doesn't matter what you can do inside it.
PR, I thank you for this:
I do think that sometimes a long period of inactivity, nothingness, and just letting those feelings come out from whatever rocks they're hiding under until they make themselves a nuisance... well, sometimes, that's exactly what's needed.
I am feeling better physically and the forced-withdrawal of being sick has triggered a lot of stuff, plus a lot of isolation. Now that I'm moving outward again, I can look back and see that the darker fears and depression maybe just have needed to cycle through me, so I could move out into life again.
Good luck trying to convince people who care for you that this is OK
Well, in classic grass-is-always-greener mode, what I wished for most while ill was people noticing/responding to the state I was in. One neighbor brought food after I called and asked her to, very kindly. The pattern with the two closest friends is to care, but at phone distance (understandably, nobody wants a virus). But other people in my life don't call or even leave something at the door. I sense a social change in that, and it makes me sad. I'm not THAT old, and when I am, I can easily see how scary it may be to live alone. (If I had family checking in, I'd feel less of those cold-dark feelings when I'm wobbly and unwell.) Zero interest in changing my living circumstances any time soon, but I'm gradually facing why people do.
I'm hanging in, though. My mother enjoyed her own home, with Cinderella's my help for her last decade. She spent the last 14 months in a nursing home, but made it until 98 with only that forced-change. I don't have a D in my life and doubt I will again, so we'll see. Could be I'll couple up and inherit stepfamily, which I would love. Or friends and I may cobble together something else. I'm really pretty well situated for a decent transition to having some help though, if I found the right person one day.
I wish I DID eat chicken soup! (I eat fish, but not birds or mammals.) I'll write a separate post on the Food I Dream Of, maybe some of you guys will have ideas.
Love y'all,
Hops
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There you are, Hops. I've been busy with the holiday week, and didn't see your most recent posts..... wondering where you were, and if you were OK.
I love the idea of your book, and when I read the subject I wasn't surprised one tiny bit.
About the PTSD...... I think part of the equation is cemented into our brains, and we either learn strategies and tricks to work over it/around it/through it or we figure out how to break up the cement, and dislodge it.... like moving pebbles out of a stream so information, blood flow and emotions can flow in their proper way again.
I think removing the pebbles is better than learning strategies and tricks... yes, I'm referring to the BIT again. Very exciting, and also enamored with the Brain Spotting, and nutrition work.
((((Hops)))) I'd love to read the bones of your book if you don't mind sharing that too.
Lighter
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I'm truly honored by your interest in the novel bones, but I'm afraid for me like some other writers, sharing before it's ready (or we're ready) can be a form of jinxing or inducing writer's block. So the vague description will have to do!
If it gets done (err, when) -- you BET I'll be begging folks here to order one.
Couple years at least. Maybe longer, depending how circumstances go...
But thanks for asking.
Hugs
Hops